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If you are a white South African, please read this

I was really, really scared to put this online. But that fear, is the exact reason why I am doing it.

Yesterday was a tough one for South Africa. Watching the videos of the violence at TUKS pour onto Twitter and watching such a clearly racialised fight break out was disturbing, and sadly, somewhat unsurprising. These are big issues. Big arguments we are trying to cope with.

But something small happened yesterday, which reminded me of the daily aggression of racism which then scales right up to group violence on a rugby field.

I was buying my lunch at Woolworths, in the quiet and cozy northern suburbs. While I was looking at the meals I heard a maybe 30-year-old woman to my right, blonde highlights, iPad mini tucked under her arm, raise her voice to the woman working behind the patisserie counter.

She was speaking in that loud voice reserved for people who you perceive to be stupid or who speak another language than you. She drawled, “GIRLIE! Hello?! Don’t you think you should help the customer standing in front of you and stop what you are doing?!”.

The lady behind the counter was trying to put some sausage rolls into the oven behind her. She mumbled something, a quiet explanation, but only a whisper of it came out before this blonde nightmare went “NO girlie, you help me first. Okay?”

It’s these moments of daily humiliation. The look that flashed across the shop assistant’s face. Of anger. Humiliation at being called “girlie” by a woman ten years younger than her. Being spoken to like a child. Being spoken to like she was stupid.

I, as a stander-by, felt the instinct to say something rise in my throat, but my lifetime of not standing up for what is right won and I swallowed the ball of indignation in my throat. The woman got her roast chicken leg and stomped off to the till. I stood in a bit of a daze.

The sausage rolls

So that’s how it is, I thought. I say I want to help, I say I want to contribute. I say I know the work has to begin with the white community challenging itself and it’s own most racist elements. This woman, she’s a stranger but she’s not. I know that tantrum. I’ve thrown that tantrum. I know that that woman behind the counter and every person in any kind of service position has to deal with some white people throwing tantrums when the world doesn’t do e.x.a.c.t.l.y what they want. Even if it means waiting 20 seconds for a person to load sausage rolls into an oven.

I got to the queue, and she was in front of me. Face of thunder. I stood there for the few minutes and my mind was whirling. Have I not been taught that if you do nothing in the face of horrible actions, you consent to them? Do I not believe that as a society we have to stand up for what is right and condemn what we believe to be cruel, unfair or unjust action? Had I not just spoken to someone the night before about how standing up for what is right doesn’t have to be a moral or philosophical choice, but makes sense as an economic one?

We exited at the same time, and I thought, okay, I’ll say something. I didn’t want to cause a drama in the shop, I didn’t think she’s react particularly well to being publicly called out. So I’ll just quickly say something to her in the parking lot, just the two of us.

I gathered up my nerves and said, “Sorry, excuse me.”

She turned around, eyes suspicious. This wan’t a person who was in a good mood to start with.

“Sorry, I wasn’t going to say anything but I just have to, for my own sake. I just don’t think the way you addressed that lady in there was very ni…”

And that’s as far as I got. She completely freaked out.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHO THE FUCK?!! FUCK YOU! REALLY! FUCK YOU! I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZY!”

She threw a few more “fuck you’s” as she got into her car and I backed off and got into mine.

Entrenched

I drove up the road to my house, hands shaking. I called a friend and had a little cry, mostly just from the shock of being yelled at like that, something I don’t recall ever really happening in my life. But a few hours later when I had calmed down, a deep deep anger and sadness kicked in. Here I was thinking, we just need to get people to understand white privilege. We just need them to realise that there needs to be much more flexibility, much more willingness to listen to ideas and to sit down at the communal table and go, I’m here, I’m not running away, what can I do to help?

But yesterday, the level of violence and hatred and venom spat at me from a complete stranger for confronting her lack of manners, her lack of humanity, her lack of respect, showed me as a white person how desperately far behind we are as a community. How deeply entrenched in our privilege. How disconnected we can be from a country and economy that’s purpose for so long has been to serve us. Coddle us. Pander to our tantrums.

I had been playing in lala-land of academia and journalism where the white people around me are engaged, looking for solutions, looking to participate; forgetting that they are such a ridiculously small minority I don’t know if they’d even collectively pull a 0.0001% of the country.

But, if you are out there, and you are reading this, please act. I don’t know if what I did was going about things the wrong way. But I’ve ripped off the plaster. You and I both know you see a conversation like that at least once a week. It’s time we hold our own community to account. If I dare say it, this isn’t even about race, it’s about basic ethics and morals and manners. Our privilege has dehumanised us. Let’s take our humanity back.

Wait in a queue without rolling your eyes and being snarky to the teller when you get to them. Take a deep breath in the traffic jam or when you get cut off in a taxi and don’t teach your rage to your child sitting in the back seat. Speak to those around you, regardless of race or age or religion, as you would like to be spoken to.

Wait 20 seconds for the shop assistant to put the sausage rolls in the oven at the Woolies on a Monday lunch-break.

lisa golden bio pic
Lisa Golden is a freelance journalist based in Johannesburg. This was first published on Medium.com

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168 comments

  1. Thank You Lisa, for an honest article. I would just like to add to your discussion. My father, at the time being about 60+/- years old wanted to buy a new vehicle. I just about started working, and went with him to look for a suitable car. Going into a New Car business. Greeted by a young women, possibly younger than me at the time.. This was her take TO MY FATHER “Kan jou help?” Jou voor en agter. Ek het vir een oomblik gevoel my keel wil explode, maar soos U my mond gehou, want ek het geweet my pa sou my aanspreek.

    White privilege, is one sick idea that we need as a nation to rid this country of. The only weapon I had back then, was to tell my father. . . “Let’s go somewhere else, she probably does not need our business. I live a privileged life is Christ, but even that I am too grateful for to take it for granted. But that being said, I would like to warn our black nation [ ALL OF US] that we also need to let go of black privilege. For there is no distinction between the two. The Only privilege we should be having is being alive, healthy and having community with each other. I have come through the struggle. I felt it AND i AGREE WITH YOU FULLHEARTEDLY. Again, thanks for your post.

    • Confusion bad manners with racism is an all too familiar scene worldwide today. White privilege is a myth created during the communist years and exploited by the ANC during the “struggle”. By the way the ANC’s struggle was not for equality but power. That is why they are responsible for 21 000 deaths during apartheid, killing off the opposition ….. and a capital case is made out of some stupid rude women. You mention your father….now mine was assaulted and robbed three times, the last time when he reported it to the police the guy that attacked him was at the police offices chatting to the police…coincidence, no he was a mate of theirs…..my dad was told “go home old man”and they would not take his statement….white privilege? I worked for a black newspaper for many years and one day (there were other instances as well )at an editorial meeting one of the reporters turned to our editor at the time and said….what is this white man doing here? Whites are attacked and discriminated against today from all sides and you are fuming about a rude blond.

      • So glad to see some sense in the comments. This stupid article about one rude woman had me fuming. I gave my all while I studied for 4 years with money my parents had to scrape together, no grants for us. Eventually I got a job that I had to let go again after a few months because of racial intimidation. I couldnt even go to the toilet without being intimidated. That was more than 2 years ago. Havnt been able to find work since because of laws such as BEE. Im 28 years old and have to scrape money together just to able to see my girlfriend who also cant find work anywhere. No future for us. WHITE PRIVELAGE MY ARSE

      • Mam you got all mixed up. I really think that sometimes when you do not understand an issue the best thing is to shut up rather than rant. It seems u want to blame apartheid on black people. How many black people we’re killed by the security forces? Its not 21000 I guess!

        • No Wilson. Research has confirmed that it was under 1000. I was also surprised to hear that number as I’d been led to believe that so many more black south africans were killed by apartheid forces but those are the facts. Interestingly, over 70 000 white farmers have been killed just since 1994. In time, black south Africans will have a lot to answer for as they are doing exactly the same, or worse than white south africans ever did.

          • Indeed. Proper peer-reviewed post-doctoral research done by Dr Anthea Jeffery of the SAInstiture for Race Relations, it was. What’s more, you can read a full executive summary of it for free on Amazon Kindle too. It’s called “People’s War: New Light on the Struggle for South Africa”.

      • Good balanced come back, there are allways two sides to every story but so many just miss this completely. Looks like a case of bad manner to me aswell.

    • Please break down black privilege to me.

      As a friend and comrade broke down the problematic nature of
      The waitress responds.
      It seems as though she experienced racism, it seems that:
      1. It seems that she is astonished that people of her skin colour get so much attention.
      2. It seems that because she experienced racism, Ntokozo Qwabe ancestors went to her ancestors land stole the land, enslaved this Becky people and now Ntokozo Qwabe refuses to give her land back.
      3. Obviously people came to her rescue not because of her skin colour and the weight of her tears. Because 1652 women’s tears are not gendered. And Beckys dont use their tears to invoke swaart gevaar or to appeal to violent white masculinities which feel a need to protect ‘their’ women from big dicked black (cis) men.
      4. Hot bath. She said hot bath. A privilege most Black people don’t have due to poverty and structural racism.
      5. She refers to colonialism and the brutality of Apartheid as “something that happened in the past”. In one sentence she demonstrates Historical violence, Cultural violence, psycholigical violence of white ambivalence on racism. She just blue ticked your whole life Blacks.
      6. Again, in her mind she experienced racism. I guess Ntokozo AND WANDILE note will result in laws that will make it illegal for her to own land. it will commit genocides, it will enslave her and her whole generation of Beck’s and Tom’s. It will segregate the education system and prepare her for slave labour. It will simultaneously create canons of knowledge that state that this Becky is inferior and beast-like.
      7. Cool ke. Go take a hot bath Beks. Then drink your chamomile tea. Then swim in your 100k, But please know, we are very serious about the land. You might have to hand over that flat sooner then you think.

      Lastly, imisunu yenu yazi 1652’s. The white liberals. The white feminists. The white leftists. NONKE.

      • This comment has been removed for expressing racism. And we don’t have the time for that.

        • Theodore fuck you, you are an ass …. you white bastard you are a racist dumb fuck

          (This comment has been edited)

  2. Please dont group me into your weird ‘white privilege’ rubbish because you saw some idiot who has no manners. No manners is not a race thing and I am offended that you are being indoctrinated into thinking that there is such a thing as ‘white privilege’. I refuse to be put into classifications because of my whiteness. You dont know what happened between those two at the counter yet you have made some ‘white’ person conclusion of which you bring me into that conclusion. I can agree with her words to you in the parking lot wholeheartedly. Who the hell are you?

    I have always treated everybody with respect. Coming from a zulu culture white family I understand blacks more than some bagel jhb blacks understand themselves. We have raised black children, built houses with our own money for blacks, clothed and fed blacks and helped blacks everywhere we go and quite frankly I am sick of it. When I see a sign that says ‘fuck white people’ ‘kill white people’ and destruction of what seems now to be just about anything and everything in name of blackness and clear race violence being carried out against white people with the general consensus of it being ok to do such acts, then I take deep offence to that. I have never encountered a bad act happen to me from white people however I can go on for hours on the bad things that blacks have done to me and my family and how it has affected our lives negatively. My first bicycle was stolen at 6 years old. Just this last week my house was on the market and the only 2 black people in the process that I dealt with almost got it right to defraud me of R70k lucky for me the banks notified me of their process in which I then caught them out. One was a lawyer. Go figure.

    I have since withdrawn all aid to blacks since the start of all this bullshit. I dont feel I owe them anything anymore. Im not interested in their problems anymore. Charity begins at home as the old saying goes. I have quit my job and will be immigrating out of this shit hole in April. I am taking every single cent with me. All pension funds, savings, cash. Not a single thing will I leave behind. I may not be a multi millionaire but my portion does contribute to the economy and it will now be leaving the country. Everything that I can not sell before I leave I will burn. I will not even give it away to any black person. If they actively hate me so much then I feel obliged to piss off and give no more to the community that I once loved.

    There is no such thing as white privilege. Stop fooling yourself with black rhetoric sympathising agenda’s.

    • Yes. Thank you so much for helping the blacks, you deserve a medal and a statue for decency and being humane. Think of why you needed to help them in the first place. That is your white privilege. So just because you have a Zulu background, you understand black people more than a black person? Who the hell do YOU think you are? You can’t even begin to understand what being a black person is. You’ve never experienced it. Go to a black school for a day and tell me how that feels. Go and learn in Xhosa. See how fun that is. Be black and see how quick people are to point fingers at you. How stupid people assume you to be, simply because you’re black. Racism isn’t about class, it’s about power. Black people’s needs are constantly being put on hold. I don’t know what fairytale you’re living but this IS a racial matter. There is no race card. It has always been about race. Apartheid only ended a few years ago and in order to move on, we need to fix the injustices done to us. We are still trying to make ourselves comfortable in our own country. We also want to be educated in our own language. The fact that you think that Blacks are just needy people that need your fucking money and pity is disgusting. We need your assistance. We need you to stop being so hard headed and more understanding. You seem to forget that white people created Apartheid. We’re the ones still suffering from it. Not you. So go on. Our country will be better off without people with your kind of thinking. One less problem, friend.

      • Well said, for the most part. But, by the same token- you have no idea what white people are feeling, new generation an old alike-so this adaption is something you have no idea about, these things will take time. You also seem to imply whites are guilty by association, our white skins automatically make us responsible for past injustices, which is a fallacy, to the definition – Also, Apartheid was symptomatic of the time,Colonialism is what has set the black man back, hundreds of years of oppression and slavery. Homing in on a single point in history, without the right contextual, or historical representation of the happenings is misrepresenting your case. I don’t know if this was intentional or not.

        This country needs to help of white people – but this overly race driven perspective on everything is going to make this process never happen. Whites already feel guilty, they don’t know how to deal with it, but what i do know is – This constant reference to race, on every turn, is going to make true reconciliation a unrealistic dream. So to summarize, the understanding you demand from us, should be reciprocate.

        • AMEN to that James.

          We as white folks can’t reverse the injustices of our forefathers (although nobody in my immediate family ever supported Apartheid).

          Some… MANY of us (WHITE folks) are living rather comfortable lives in comparison to the rest of the country. There is no doubting that this is in part due to the privilege white people were given during Apartheid. YES I feel an inherent guilt about it. All the time.

          But what would you have me do? Sell my 2006 VW polo (the most expensive thing I own), donate the money to charity and move to a cheaper area to rid myself of the guilt? Would you do that? Hell no I’m not f*kin doing it.

          The most we can do is try and help those that are less fortunate within our means and ATTEMPT to spread the notion that we are indeed equal as human beings.

          Do not forget that there are some extremely wealthy people of other colour in this country who most likely do NOTHING to contribute to the utter poverty out there.

          My entire life has been multicultural in every sense of the word. The old white boy cliche “but I have so many black friends” is actually true for me. I have friends in the city and friends who stay in the most dangerous townships in SA.

          But sadly there are a lot of white, black and coloured folks who have never enjoyed that privilege and still live with massive barriers between them and other races. It’s those poor sods that contribute to the on-going racial tension in this country. And let’s be honest – the current leadership in this country is doing sweet f**kall to help.

          Moral of the story – STOP GENERALISING. There are some absolute a**holes in this country, but they’re all different colours. STOP talking about “BLACK FOLKS” or “WHITE FOLKS” or “COLOURED FOLKS” like they all share the same opinions.

          I am honestly more likely to get on with a Zimbabwean homie straight off the bus who speaks hardly any English than I am to get along with a duk white boer from Bloem (trust me). And I’m not alone there. I’m not unique. I’m just TIRED of shit sh*t.

          • you whites are fucked up u could have just said that I am tired not tired of shit I bet your grandmother didn’t teach you to speak in this kind of tone if so She didn’t raise a respectful human being of a citizen

        • Well said. We need to strive for balance and objectivity: Not all black people support the violent factions, and not all white people can be classified under the umbrella of ‘white privilege’.
          S.A.’s peaceful transition towards independence (instead of the feared bloody revolution) was achieved because people from both sides worked hard to understand the position of the other and were willing to negotiate and reconcile, not least Nelson Mandela.
          Let us not spoil the legacy of this new beginning in 1994 by raking up old attitudes, prejudices, resentments and fostering hatred; let us rather look at how we can move forward as a nation by tackling today’s problems head on.
          One cannot move forward while facing backwards – if one wants to see where one is going!
          This of course means changing our attitudes – both black and white – and focusing on possible solutions to S.A.’s problems together.
          We can start in our daily lives by being kinder and more tolerant of each other.

      • Fix injustices? Myth and facts are not equal to each other ….

      • Any idea as to how long it will take SA to recover from Apartheid? Look at Germany and Japan and remember that they had to restart from total devastation after WWII. You were given a fully functioning economy with the best infrastructure in Africa. Get on with it. And good luck with learning Calculus in your language of choice (which is clearly not English or Afrikaans).

        • Dean Cornthwaite

          I would agree

        • Cathy, I agree. 100%. And I’m not even white. No excuses.

          To another point. Yes, I suffered white racism. And still do. I also suffered black privilege. Same effect. Same behaviour. Whites slander blacks. Blacks slander blacks they look down on. Both are premised on power. The moral of the main article is simply that we all need to look within ourselves, and do to others as you’d have them do to you. If you’re Christian, another way of approaching this is to ask yourself “what would Jesus do” and go and do likewise.

      • Fix injustices? Myth and facts are not equal to each other …. You say that white people created apartheid……Apartheid means separate development….why was this separation created….for the answer you need to look at history and the killings and fighting by the different tribes through the ages……the way blacks were killing each other aswell as whites making the whole region unsafe for man and beast. http://www.thesouthafrican.com/dont-blame-colonialism-for-africas-problems-bonang-mohale/

      • I agree with you Ngididekile, we should all be educated in our mother tongue. Why then is this never a reason to protest against the government. My opinion is that it is much easier just to hijack a successful Afrikaans school and force them to change. Why are schools not built in the rural areas with education in the children’s mother tongue? Our children NEED education but it never seems to be an issue – I find that really weird.
        There are MANY wealthy blacks in the rural areas – just look at the cars they drive. If they should be as involved (in time and financial support) in their children’s schools as the white parents are, they can also have schools of excellence!

      • Yeah you are the victim and it is the white mans fault ………. NOT.

      • Much like the Author of this Article i don’t really posting anything online myself regarding racism however , I always have to laugh to myself when i read a silly Africans comment about how they were discriminated against when it comes to apartheid and education and possessions etc . While the slavery was obviously wrong , i don’t see why blacks felt/feel they were entitled to education or houses or anything the white people had built/brought in the country for that matter . Firstly you would have to “PAY” for it a thing the majority of black people never seem to want to do and secondly it would have been the institutions choice to accept a half naked pupil that probably could not understand the language in which the teacher speaks. I Can’t understand the logic in it. Just because somebody has something does not mean they have to share it, it might be the nice thing or even the right thing in some cases to do but its not a given.

    • if you are white would you be able to see yourself on this screen or any other device that you possibly use daily

    • Uhambe kahle – please don’t look back!

    • Why should I constantly be afraid to voice my opinions for fear oF retribution. Why should I be apologetic about my colour and hang my head in shame for being born white. It’s not about colour, it’s about CULTURE. Your own personal culture. In a shop yesterday while browsing, I noticed a ‘black’ woman older than myself waiting to look at the same roll of fabric as me. I turned and with a smile asked if I was in her way. All I got was a sour dark scowl and no response. I wasn’t going to leave it. I went up to her and asked again. “I asked if I was in your way”….In a barely audible voice came a rude “yes”. How would I have reacted if the roles were reversed? “No problem, I’ll wait till you’re finushed”. Basic manners taught as a child! Regardless of who you are.

      • It is rather tiring when so called journalists harp constantly on “white privilege” which is a nonsense of course but it is a good stick to beat people up with. Manners or the lack of it is purely a result of upbringing……or the lack thereof. In my experience those that scream racism the loudest are mostly the uber racists….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-4V3HR696k

        • What I can’t understand is, the black people constantly remind us they were here before the white settlers. Can they please explain to me, why then, did they not develop the country before the whites got here? White people came to this country with not much. They developed this country using their knowledge, intellect and manpower. They reached out to black people by offering them jobs. The apartheid government built schools and hospitals for the black people….why did they never built their own, seeing they were here before us. Whites received nothing for free, we had to work for every single thing we own. Stop waiting for white people to give you everything, go out use your knowledge, intellect and manpower to achieve success.

      • Anne, you have touched on something that I have thought about many times. A lot of blacks miss out on skills and behaviors learnt in the first seven years of life. These are largely the skills/behaviors that equip them for living in a mixed society. Many young people grow up in child led households where just having a roof over their heads and something in their tummies is all they have.
        The majority of people in this country still need to learn that there is more to life that scratching for food and somewhere to sleep. When our government provides for its people, it’s humans, perhaps they will learn some social graces. In the meantime, practice some patience and try to set an example

    • Cheers and good riddance!, think you will have it better in Europe, USA, hahahaaaaaaa, think again!

    • Weldone Michael! Excellent response and my thoughts exactly! My family done the exact same thing 10 years ago…haven’t looked back! Good luck to you and your family!
      White privilege…whatever!! I see some people say its not better overseas…well it is!! Every country has its issues but Africa takes the cake!!

      • You can say that again!
        Africa really is a nightmare!
        I think most of South America is also terrible if because of the drugs.

    • Michael you took the words right out of my mouth.

      This is not a race issue it is about the class and type of person the shopper is and for Lisa to see it as a black /white race issue is even sadder. I am sick of people saying this is a black thing , this is a white thing…. NO! It is all about how you were brought up and took in what was taught to you by your surroundings…. I say surroundings because every single person that crosses your path teaches you something. If you can’t realize that then you are severely lacking in your education.

      I am one of five children and when I look back on my 48 years of being alive I realize that my siblings are very different to me… Some are incredibly racist and I don’t keep quiet about that. I call them on it and they don’t appreciate it. I kept my mother away from my children for a while because of her racist rantings and she learnt not to spew racist comments around me or my children.

      Treat people with respect no matter who or what they are and you will be treated with respect. If you keep quiet about things that you perceive and know are wrong you are just as guilty as the perpetrators.

    • Exactly….just because some creepy women grew up without any manners does not make the rest of us privileged or rude.

      • as usual white people getting the wrong end of the stick and getting defensive. that in itself is a privilege that only YOU have (ehm white privilege). She wasnt saying be apologetic about being white, rude is rude is rude. I agree, you agree and we all agree! What she was saying is only white people can get away with that nonsense and do not call each other out about it. That is the privilege you have. As black people if I threw that kind of tantrum I would get banned from the shop if I did it to a white person and the black people would intervene to ask me how I can treat my mother like that, if the lady was black. Its nice to address your sister but would you address a stranger. and unfortunately South Africa is at that point were you white person cannot keep quite anymore. We need to alllll rise, and address our communities. Thats whats the article was saying. As for Micheals immature reaction to being robbed by black people, Ive been robbed by white people……my cousins have been swindled by white people. You dont see me throwing a tantrum and leaving the country about it. The very fact that you can deny white privilege is a PRIVILEGE. Most black people if they stand up for themselves are labelled entitled and racist……and we cannot lalalala and deny it. PS just because you deny that something is there, doesnt mean that it is not.

        • Your premises make no sense! Are u completely unaware of the fact that MOST kind these days are specifically to be filled by a black person.. bursaries too.. most fast food chains are not allowed to be owned by white people… companies are being refused tender if they don’t have a majority black staff.. public displays of constant white slamming by government and media.. but we how black people think we are privileged??? How??? White people are constantly having to watch every word we say, incase a black person inferes it as racism! aInd black people are constantly extremely racist to me.. but the general reaction a white South African gets when crying racism is either a huge laugh or “only white people are racist”just find it so strange that although every single race throughout history has had their period of hardship and wrongs… but somehow… accross the world the black people think that they have suffered alone.

    • Which lucky country gets you??

      • They all seem to only to countries with enough bandwidth to listen to 94.7, and read SA blogs all day!

        Good riddance, I’m tired of being embarrassed of people like this.

    • Well now aren’t you just special? I do not care how much you have done FOR blacks. The mere fact that these things were needed specifically by blacks already means you DO have white privilege. Get over your arrogant self and come to an understanding that unless and until no ‘blacks’ need your special help there will remain white privilege. She did indeed know what had passed between the two women because she was standing right there! And my advise to the writer? Get a damned grip and speak up right then. You do not change the world by saying two words to an asshole, go home and cry for three hours and then write something you are scared to put in print. Stand between them look her right in the eye and tell her she is speaking to a human being who deserves respect as much as she does! Maybe when enough white people get in each other’s faces we can begin to see the end of this crap called, rightly, white privilege. Yes, I AM white, by the way.

      • It seems many people still don’t understand the concept of ‘White Privilege’ thinking that it implies some guilt on the part of the individual. It does not. You are not guilty of white privilege, you are merely a recipient of it. What it means is simply the other side of the coin of ‘Black Disadvantage’ and you’d have to be insane to try and deny that to this day, and pretty much everywhere in the world, black people are at a disadvantage. Their disadvantage is your privilege. That does not mean you are racist, or nasty, or evil, or even responsible. The system of white privilege has its roots in countless facts of history. Colonialism, slavery, apartheid, imperialism. These were devastating to so many communities around the world and are the processes that built the world we live in today. A white man’s world. No you did not actively contribute or support slavery, colonialism or apartheid. You did not directly build this white man’s world that rides roughshod over the rights and basic humanity of ‘non-whites.’ As such, no you don’t have to feel guilty about it. However, you SHOULD at the very least RECOGNIZE it. Accept that the world was built on the backs of other races, under the watchful gaze of white masters, for the white masters. Recognize the fact that black people in South Africa are still struggling in abject poverty, in communities that were absolutely devastated by colonialism, by apartheid. At least admit that in America even today white police officers are murdering innocent black men and getting away with it! How can you deny white privilege when there are videos showing the blatant murders all over the Internet & still they get away with it? You don’t have to feel guilty, but just for the love of God admit that the game is rigged in your favor. You don’t have to worry about security guards interrogating you when you try to enter a gated community. You’re not the one people immediately suspect when something goes missing. You don’t have to wake up at 3am to catch a taxi into the city so you can get to your job which is cleaning someone else’s house. You don’t have to feel guilty about white privilege, just recognize it. In fact, own it! It’s great to be white. Admit it. If you can see how lucky you are, maybe you can stop being such a miserable idiot so focused on yourself and recognize that the privilege you were born into just might be used to do some good in the world!

        • Brilliant. That’s exactly what needed to be said. I am privileged and grateful for the advantages I have received because of my colour. The game is rigged in my favour. I only manage to see the injustice of it when i see myself as a woman and see how things are rigged for men. I have worked and earned half of what a man less competent than me earned. It wasn’t fair. It felt awful. I felt inferior even though my work was better. So I can begin to imagine what it feels like to be black. To pretend that blacks and whites are treated the same is insane. We are not. I notice it every day. I am privileged. I don’t really know how to deal with this, but I think the first step is being honest about things. Does it mean I have to give up that privilege? How can I give up being white? How can I give up my superior education, my family support, the rights I got from the time I was little, to go where I wanted, to be treated politely, to be able to speak out without being punished, for not having to grovel to people in power who were a different colour to me and who treated me brutally? I can’t take that away. I have it. It’s part of me. But I can start to recognise and speak out against white racism. I do that. Is it enough? Probably not. But it’s slightly better than doing nothing.

        • Why is it then that across the world (as you say) black people are the most disadvantaged… and stop blaming the same things that have happened to every race throughout history.. perhaps it’s time black people around the world start taking responsibility for their own decisions in life and their problems… we now have all the same opportunities now and yet that is still not good enough.. no.. black people demand and feel they are entitled more than every other race (even more than those races who also suffered through apartheid along side the black people). And some how this is supposed to create equality?

        • Mike Brown was punching a cop and grabbing for his gun. He also beat up an old man and robbed a store. Trayvon Martin was attacking a man when he was shot, bashing his head into concrete. These blacks here in America aren’t being innocent angels when they’re shot. Quite the opposite. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

    • I am with you – l will not apologise for being ‘white’ maybe the lady was wrong, but you cannot group all white people into her category!

    • lol my guy, not all races are the same, your bicycle got stolen, lol, most fraud cases involve whites my guy, not all races are racist, im black and i have friends of all races, stop feeling like a victim, lol, its funny, do things out the goodness of your heart, that what the bible says, dont let anybody, even “us blacks” change you from doing kindness, that the first thing you should learn about charity, but if it makes you feel better, then hey, do what you want, its a free country

    • You are an absolute muppet pal! Please do us all a favour and get the Fuck out of our country, and go ahead and burn all your shitty belongings you clown! From one white to another, I would beat the shit out of you if given the chance!!!

    • I agree. She was rude to you, too (the author), which means she has no manners. End of story. I don’t see race coming into it. We have to be wary of coming to this conclusion because we simply add fuel to the fire. (And to be the one to shout ‘racism’ first makes the shouter the racist.) See things for what they really are.

    • Everything is not about racism. Thare are things like good manners ans mutual respect. Full stop. This girl suffers from a condition named entitlement as so many back AND white peoplw do.

    • Are you the whitey who had such a shock on their face when I handed you a flattie at the All Black v Springbok game 2 years ago, for using the “K” word so freely?

      I’m a little surprised, and disappointed, that you’re still here.

    • You led the life of a naïve, bleeding heart, White Liberal and just because some Blacks did you in, you are packing your bags in a huff…what did you expect? That those Blacks saw your goodie-two shoes act written all over your White face? Welcome to the world of a biblical figure called Jesus Christ and every other guru who tells you to turn the other cheek. All that’s happened is that you got a wake-up call to take some time off to think about the motives behind all the good deeds performed by you and your family over the years and now you think you are entitled to some respect and buddy treatment. Unfortunately for you, these acts did not buy you the protection from being seen as just another exploitable person…not a WHITE person, just another person able to be exploited by greedy, corrupt, amoral individuals. The problem in SA is not racism…that’s just another pathetic excuse used by a bunch of basically low lifes who are incapable of running their lives, let alone a company or a country. The problem is that whites no longer matter and it pisses them off big time, especially now that slogans to this effect are appearing all over walls around the country and on campuses. The word is out and Whites’ backs are up in shock, horror and disbelief. Too many people think they have to help the disadvantaged, and mainly to earn brownie points on some level – appease the gods, change their karma, thinking that riches will return to them 10-fold…none of that is really true. I learnt after an experience in law school, where I witnessed White students, trying to fiddle votes to get a White student in as president of the LSS, acting out of pure personal expedience and greed, that politics is about the exchange of wealth and privilege by one interest group to another and the last thing it’s about is saving the poor and making their lives better. You may never have experienced being hurt by White people in SA but let me tell you I have. Every white person I encountered in SA judged me for the fact that I had access to a life overseas with the foreign currency attached to that and all my daughter and I encountered was vicious jealousy and meanness. One pompous old fart, who, because he went to Hilton College, a hundred years ago, had the audacity to tell people how they should live in the “exclusive” block of flats we all inhabited…no curry to be cooked because of the smells, no laundry drying on the balcony because it made the place look like a Mumbai slum…and a litany of other do’s and don’ts all in an effort to preserve the illusion that he and his ugly, skinny, blonde wife were really living across from a park in London. My daughter was bullied by the ‘inmates’ of an old Durban all girls (in reality a bunch of future slappers to breed with midlands-school attending privileged White males) school whose stupid, ignorant headmistress took the side of her scheming, racist white bitchy moms and ‘wannabe seen as rich too’ staff. Try and disagree with any White South African and all you get is righteous indignation and abuse, even on Facebook where the most aggressive emotions are played out on a daily basis, from South Africans; no other cultural group piles into each other in the way South Africans do on a daily basis on these sites, especially Banting, sites lately. They have lost a lot more than their big fat arses, that’s for sure.White South Africans are now so pissed that they are of no consequence in their country, let alone the rest of the world, that all they can do is lash out in anger and frustration at anyone who tries to tell them anything contrary to their personal belief that they are God’s gift to the universe, especially that mindless lot in the western Cape. They are in fact the meanest, nastiest, most arrogant individuals known to man and now that the writing’s on the wall, literally and figuratively, those, like you, want to run away while the rest, who can’t leave, bleat like hunted pigs about the unfairness of it all and treat Blacks to streams of verbal abuse and each other. Way to go…Let me make a prediction for you…I’m assuming you’re off to the UK or Oz or wherever, it doesn’t matter. You wont like being treated as just another sponging immigrant. No-one is going to be impressed by the colour of your skin, your background, schooling, accent, club-membership or anything else that normally guaranteed White south African boys an easy ride through a whole host of open doors and with stupid, foul-mouthed, uncouth, ill-mannered, blonde, White South African women with an over-inflated sense of entitlement, falling at their feet.

  3. Great piece, well done for writing it. This is the kind of conversation SA needs right now.

  4. You have obviously lived a spoilt, sheltered “cushy” life. I have never spoken to a Black person this way and yet I was treated in the same way by a Black customer in a bank, about 2 weeks ago. Sadly, this bad behaviour and attitude of entitlement is shown by prople of all races today. I was shocked and hurt to be treated like that by someone who was a customer, just as I was!
    The Black and White bank employees tried to laugh it off, but the truth is I have since avoided going to that branch of the bank.
    There are decent and rude people in ALL race groups…it has nothing to do with a person’s race!

  5. Largely in agreement with the main replies here. I’ve suffered a hard life, without this wonderful ideal you created of “white privilege”. You can apologize and condone the acts of violence perpetrated by racial “want-it-all-for-free” fanatics, but do it on your own behalf.

    The only dialogue I engage in is with PEOPLE who ALREADY see beyond race, because we didn’t have cushy lives that buffered us from the harshness of reality – we faced it together. If you haven’t had that experience, sorry for you.

    I’m white-skinned, but tough-skinned. I work side by side with many other-skinned people, regardless of race, and we have awesome teamwork. My skin could be purple, I would have still had the same difficult upbringing, the same hard lessons, the same challenges, and the same rewards. I won’t apologize for the crappy hand I got dealt – neither should anyone else, of any race, who faced that much suffering.

    So get off your soapbox with your close-minded agenda, because you are lost in a world of your own, forgetful of a little thing called reality. Only apologetic, spoiled and ignorant fools are buying the trash you’re trying to sell.

    P.S. Never assume you are spokesperson of anyone else. I am perfectly capable of opening my own mouth, typing my own letters, and giving a reply. Thanks for asking. I don’t soapbox my opinions though, because I don’t bring anyone down to get ahead or prove a point.

    P.P.S. How old do you think “white people” are? Are they your age (old)? Are they beneficiaries of apartheid – Even under the ANC for the past 21 years? I feel sorry for you and how brainwashed you have become. Want to make a real difference? VOTE!!!

    P.P.P.S. MOST of the whites who benefited apartheid LEFT THE COUNTRY when apartheid ended in 1994. Take a look in the mirror first before you imagine everyone is the same.

    • J is for justice
      If I were a black South African, I would be angry and hurt and impatient and more. But most of all I’d crave justice. I’d feel physically ill whenever FW de Klerk or his foundation dared to air their views (which are usually odious, racist and reminiscent of the bad old days). He is an apartheid leader with blood on his hands. And an opportunist who acted not out of conscience but because of political and economic pressure. If he had a shred of decency he’d retire quietly and leave the rest of us to sort out the mess he and his party made.I’d see red when Wouter Basson claims he had “nothing to do with apartheid”. (Sunday Times, 17 January 2016). And weep with despair to learn that he still practices his craft (at Mediclinic in Durbanville) and says nonchalantly, ‘Life goes on.’And I’d be gatvol when yet another white South African talks about “equality” or being sick and tired of talking about race.I may even say hateful things about white people and their attitudes of entitlement. And I’d certainly agitate for the criminalisation of racism and hate speech. Because no one has ever properly been brought to justice for the crime against humanity that was apartheid. And, because of the terms of the TRC and the negotiated settlement that saw the birth of our democracy, none of the masterminds ever will. And that is something I as a black South African would not be able to live with. I struggle with it as it is.
      The Nats managed to impose apartheid on South Africa for 46 years because the majority of white South Africans supported it. It eventually ended because the majority of adult South Africans demanded a better life and the rest of the world put pressure on our fascist leaders. But 1948 wasn’t the year white people started oppressing black people in South Africa. This began way back in 1652… (See C is for colonisation)We are all familiar with the codified set of limitations and exclusions apartheid placed on black South Africans. But many fail to appreciate what such a system does to the psyche of the oppressed. So, repeat after me: Never tell a black South African to ‘get over’ apartheid. Never say you’re ‘sick and tired of talking about apartheid (x) many years after it ended’. Not in 2016, not in 2046 or even 2076. The pain that apartheid inflicted (and its aftermath and legacy continue to inflict) on black people is a deep-seated trauma that no one should ever be told to get over.  “Apartheid was racism on an industrial scale. Its key architects took the opinions of your dumb, garden-variety racist, like Penny Sparrow, and turned them into a ruthless, systematic machine of disenfranchisement, impoverishment, torture and murder over decades.” — Justice Malala in The Times

      Because you are so ignorant, I decided to do some reading for you. Prepare to be enlightened. If you want to learn more about your white privilege and how to be a decent human being, please follow the link. ♥♥

      • If you want to blame someone for apartheid go blame the fucking British. And SA has been under the ANC government for 22 years…surely the effects of apartheid could’ve been demolished by now. But no…let’s keep voting for a corrupt party. I wonder who is ignorant. If you are 30 years old or younger in 2016 you don’t have shit to say about apartheid. The problem is that everyone blames the past for not being able to get anywhere. You cannot move into the future if you keep holding on to the past. Look at any succesful black person today…they made it happen. Without being a dick and blaming everyone and everything. You can too.

      • Ngididekile

        Blacks are responsible with the British people for their own f.. apartheid. AND Dee you absolute right, they are still living now, today in the so-called Homelands, aka Trustlands after 1994, they created their own apartheid systems … before 1910 it was called RESERVES by Black leaders and the British, nothing to do with the so-called Apartheid.

        BLACKS go and read about the Shepstone Policy of 1854, it is still there today, with your so-called TRUSTLANDs, the Ingonyama Trust and hundreds of other Trustlands in each area, where you live free and have your own cultures, traditions and language, each ethnic group live on their own piece of land, with their own traditional leader, received millions of rand from the TAX payers.

        Trustlands were created by the BLACK ethnic leaders and the ANC, … the “Reserves” created by the British Empire and the Black ethnic leaders before 1910.

        The passbook was also created by the British Empire not the so-called Verwoerd apartheid regime. Why do your ethnic groups, 30 millions, living each in separated TRUSTLANDS received CPAs from this ANC government and you still complain about the so-called APARTHEID, THE Shepstone Policy Apartheid from your own leaders and your own past, not ours. Go back into your own history and learn about it.

      • Hi Ngididikele, we are fully aware of the devastating effect Apartheid has left on the collective psyche of the black man…we are sorry and ashamed that our forefathers did what they did.
        However, if you know your history. then you will know that every group or civilisation has been brutally oppressed at some point in their history…even by their own people’ In that regard even the feudal system where the aristocracy lorded it over the serf’s or common people in Europe for many more hundreds of years, and atrocities far worse then apartheid was visited upon these people….imagine having your head chopped of for stealing an apple due to gut-wrenching hunger.
        Imagine the practice of slavery and how that dehumanise….hopefully you do know that there were many thousands of white slaves as well and the Irish hold the dubious record of having the highest % of their population abducted into slavery…even relatively more than the many millions of black Africans abducted….a practice started by Arabs and most enthusiastically captured by rival black tribes for monetary gain…as i am certain you are aware of….History is awash with instances of untold cruelty by different groups over each other…..Black over black, White over Black…African (Egyptian over the mediterranean basin) Romans conquering all, Arabs conquering Spain and large part of Europe…..we are but a short footnote in history, mankind has known untold misery since the dawn of civilisation.

        we can’t tell you to get over apartheid, I fully agree….it is a choice you have to make yourself, but don’t you think you put yourself in a prison that will devour you by not letting go…you are not unique in history, Colonialism. like apartheid was institutionalised racism….but the whole of Africa, The americas and big parts of Asia were colonised…..when freedom came for Africa and Asia at the same time……choises were made…..you have the same choice, do you want to ba a South-Korea or Singapore…. or rather Tanzania an Zimbabwe….when freedom came
        korea and tanzania had the same GDP per capita….today 60 years later, south-korea is 50 times richer than Tanzania….they chose to look forward, use their newfound freedom and opportunities, work hard and turned their counry in a land of milk and honey….Africa chose to keep on blaming history, it’s Big men squrreling away it’s riches in Swiss bank accounts…..do not listen to me, listen to Steve Bantu Biko….believe in yourself and just do it…the power is in your own hands to change your destiny and look forward and build a truly new SA

        • Yes indeed even some of the white people that landed up in Africa was not by choice but by fleeing for their lives because there religion was protestant and not catholic. So who must I blame for my disadvantage because my forefathers needed to leave in haste the motherland.

    • Totally agree….
      Hit the nail on the head…and I am a person of colour but what I see around me today is shocking. I fought back in the day way before 1994 for the rights of blacks which should have included me a person of colour but today after voting for blacks look at where I am…still on the fence….we do not get the same privileges as our black counterparts. ..who are we????
      I feel sorry for the lady who was sworn at….yes some people are just downright rude….but so are people of all races….

  6. I believe that we all are More Than One Story.

    Society of RSA, I see no reason of all this issues, Social Cohesion is possible.

    It takes many to gather respect we all deserve, but it takes one stupid fool to destroy everything we have done.

    Take it upon yourself to restore your nation’s dignity.

    I had once worked at Ackerman’s as Shop assistant, before I established an NGO, I had come across people without manners or respect during my time at Ackerman’s, I had realized that both White and Black has this kind of people who value themselves above others.

    My focus is on the Youth and Children, as i see this Tribal/Racial War taking deep Root, I fear for them and their future, My Question to all RSA adults is this: what kind of the world do we want to live our children?

    I condemn the acts of Segregation, Prejudice and Racism, war is not a nice thing for anyone in the world.

    To RSA Government, why do you ignore the importance of the Country?
    Why allow your political supporters and members destroy the dream of this Country RSA?
    The Students uprising could have been prevented if only you as leaders took action.

    RSA Politician’s your responsible for this Racial war, Higher Education Department and Minister why you don’t act to allow RSA to educate the Youth proper as to arm them with proper knowledge and skills, than this worry and confusion?

    Labour Department why you stand aside while workers are treated unfair at their work place? who must listen to their plea if not you Labour Department? this Monday issue could have been avoided, only if you cared for the Country this could been avoided.

    We as Society we are the only key to this issues, as Political leaders are waiting for us to act so that they can use this incidences as campaign for votes, we are in this mess because of this politicians at first place.

    My advice to you as South African Citizen is this, Unite and Protect your Country, remove the mindset of division and support integration, inclusive and Social Cohesion.

    let us work to establish a “Country for all those who live in it”, we have to stop promoting political power and influence within our Government structures.

    We like it or not, United we Stand and Divided we fall.

    YCD (Young Community Developer) Federation’s-RSA Social Cohesion Campaign.

    I am not a Coloured, Black, Indian or a White Person: I am a South African.
    #IamaSouthAfrican
    #SocialCohesion is a must
    #MoreThanOneStory

    I believe that it start with us and Youth learn from us.

    YCD Federation-RSA we condemn Racial/Tribal War.
    The Youth of the Organization Condemn Segregation, Prejudice, Racism and Xenophobia.

    YCD Federation-RSA I believe that I can bring a change in my Community.

    #MyConstitution-MyPride-MyRSA

    One Love and Enough Respect

    (Ras V) Vincent Sipho khumalo

    • Wow! Thank you for these words and for what you are doing for our young people.

    • I totally agree!
      Your’s are words of wisdom, and what stands out is NO swearwords, NO bitterness and NO attacking of another race! Just the factual pointing out of the total lack of LEADERSHIP in our country, and individuals exploiting it for their (and their connected circle)’s own gain.

    • its amazing the decline of our country in such a sort amount of time, we have so much potential….this is a leadership problem and I know I share the same concern as many other south africans from all sectors in what will happen in these next elections. zuma and his buddies are laughing all the way to the bank while this smoke screen (university riots) takes the attention away from him. malema is encouraging these acts of civil disobedience because it is bringing him popularity among st his followers. these bad elements need to be removed and with the right leadership, peoples hate and frustration can be focused in a constructive manner.

    • I agree with you. It’s not about Skin colour. I shudder to think about what all of this hate is doing to our children. Mine are taught to love, honor, respect regardless of age, race or status. Just as my parents taught me! When did treating another human being (the way most people today do) become second nature? When did love, care, respect, honor and kindness fly out the window? All I can say is…I will continue to help our youth. It’s their future that is the most important. Thank you Vincent.

    • Mr Vincent Sipho Khumalo, we need more of your kind in our society and government. We need people that we all can respect and look up to.

    • Well said ,Vincent! My thoughts exactly.United we stand,divided we fall.Let’s take hands and make South Africa the best country in the world.We CAN do it!

  7. Hi Lisa,

    I get where you’re coming from and I get where you”re going with this but that woman was just some crazy rich bitch. It wasn’t so much because she’s white. The fact that she flipped out on you proves that. It’s got more to do with wealth and privilege.

    I’m white and and I can show you where to go and who to speak to and you’ll get that kind of treatment all the time. In some cases you’ll even find black wealthy people treating you that way.

    Yes, there are more wealthy whites than there are blacks, so you’ll get this superiority tantrum happening more in that way. Then again you get more poor and desperate blacks than whites, so you get more black-on-white crime but not all blacks are criminals.

    Basically what I’m saying is, it’s got more to do with people’s financial and economic situations than their race.

    Having said all of the above, I get you and I agree with you on most of your arguments. Thanks for speaking up and putting this out there.

    Euan.

    • Euan, currently there are more in the black middle class than all of the whites combined. And even if every single employed white gave his/her job to a black tomorrow, it would not make a dent in the number of poor blacks. The issue is so much more complex than the numbers.

  8. Great post. We need to tolerate each other more on this country. When we take the time to introspect and see how we truly are that’s when things will change. We need to stop pointing fingers at others. We are all guilty in one way or the other. Let’s build up and not break down.

  9. Don’t assume that the “girlie” putting the sausage rolls in the oven isn’t white. Nothing to do with racism

    • Come on… I think we can safely assume that, especially in SA, and considering the author alluded to that fact. Girlie is a now archaic, racist terminology.

  10. Well captured and well shared Lisa. You are not alone in your desires and dillemas.

  11. What this article neglect to even mention is the root of all the recent violence: the absolute stupidity of our president. He is forcing this beautiful country onto its knees with his self motivated agenda of corruption. We pay tax, but does he build schools or universities. No he improves his own house and buys a movie star sized jet. He increases the size of the cabinet to surround himself with cronies.
    He rewards protesting students who break down and burn. Like children they learn that throwing a tantrum gets rewarded with capitulation. BEE is racist. Placing unqualified people in jobs creates hatred. Telling white students they need better marks to get into University is racist and makes them hate their black friends.Using tax money to fill the pockets of the black elite fueles hatred. Take a look at the current government and see how much blame they must carry for the ever growing hatred and violence in the country and stop blaming white people for all your suffering.

  12. I “enjoyed” reading your article because it is so well written but I find it quite inappropriate and out of context in the current climate of racial tension. That woman in Woolworths is what I would could a “Social Class Snob Superbitch”. I believe she would have spoken to anyone of any colour behind the counter in that manner. Look at how she spoke to you in the car park – White on White!!. I personally have witnessed many Superbitches in my life – the so called nouveau riche clique and believe you me, they are of ALL RACES. I have personally witnessed a Black “Social Class Snob Superbitch” (on a daily basis – not just a one off) who cannot deign herself to greet those she deems inferior to herself and that is Black on Black.

  13. My hubby and i where looking at buying a house. We are Indian. The estate judged us without finding anything about us. She said maybe you should win the lotto before looking at this place. I didnt say anything, too shocked to think that people are still so backward. Nonetheless she lost the sale. But i must say its not a white thing, its just stupid people. I have many white friends and many white people around me who are just amazing. But there are that rotten bunch, that are still living pre 1994 and think that every other race is disgusting and should not be around or near them, its also area based. Like i went to heathway shopping centre and people actually just stared at us, like why would we even be there. In the store we were in, even the assistants only helped the whites, didnt even come to us. The assistants where black. Some people still treat whites like they are everything, when everyone shud be treated equal. People its not about race, its about respect and being human, its about being kind.

  14. When the last white person leaves South Africa, they will be forced to confront the consequences of their own inferiority and their backward thinking. Of course, the Afrikananer will be held to blame once again because the West has been fed a simplistic narrative about bad white person, good black person by Mandela, the ANC and Hollywood. The simple fact is that, however well educated, the vast majority remain held back by tribalism, inherent dishonesty, poor work ethic and an enormous inferiority complex. Mind you, if I was a black African and I contemplated how little my race had contributed to the progress of mankind over all, I’d probably have an inferiority complex too. I’m interested to see how they all fare under their new colonial masters – the Chinese. Then they really WILL have something worth toy toying about!

    • Well said, Pippa. The Chinese are not exactly known for their fantastic humans rights record, not to mention the way they treat animals. When the Chinese hold the reigns to this country, as they are very close to doing, it would be very foolish for people to toy-toy or resist – the Chinese have no issues about silencing dissidents. Permanently. The ANC regime don’t understand that their Chinese and Russian masters are only interested in this country for their own benefit. If people in this country thought apartheid was bad, they ain’t seen nothing yet!

    • i wonder which church you go to and whether you would hold that comment up in the house of God, you are lucky if you athiest

  15. Okay, and well done. But who’s to say this ghastly woman is typical – except politicians who say she is.

  16. I have nothing but disdain for you Ms Golden. To paint one race with the same brush because a rude person with no manners spoke to a service person badly and all you find is racism? If you think this is white privilege than maybe you should spend some time observing other people and less time on crying because one white trash person swore at you.
    Don’t confuse lack of manners and rudeness which is present in all races with racism and white privilege. Respect for others irrespective of race isn’t checking your white privilege, it’s being a decent human being.

  17. I pray for a day when we can refer to each other as humans and not a color shade.

  18. Some people are just extremely rude people who have a horrible attitude and as a white person I have had to endure rudeness too, but I don’t label it as a color thing. I have stood in a lift with well dressed business men, but they were having a discussion about how all whites should die, it was horrible going down 22 floors with these “gentleman” and uncomfortable, but I never once walked out of that lift assuming it’s because they are black, it’s just because they are rude cruel human beings. I have also taken a train, where I was pushed out of my seat by a lady insisting she must sit next to the window and she didn’t have a “right” to sit next to a window before so I will give her my seat, I just moved, because I do not have the energy to start a fight just because someone is in a bad mood or doesn’t like me just because I’m white. Again, I never got out of that train thinking it was because of her color that she was rude to me, I just thought I was unfortunate to be treated badly by someone with no kindness. If she asked nicely, I would have given her my seat anyway. Hold people responsible for their actual crime, if someone murders it’s not because they are a certain color, it’s because they are a bad human being with issues. If someone is rude, the rudeness must be dealt with, but I don’t think it’s fair to label it as “white privilege”, just like I don’t like it when black people get labelled because of what one black person does. It’s not fair. People should be held responsible for their actions, regardless of their color. We are all one race, the human race.

  19. Thank you for trying to call her out on her behaviour. I have been in your shoes and I wish I had the guts you did and you know what? From now on, I am going to try HARDER, DO HARDER!
    I’m sorry she was so rude to you and to the poor lady. She could’ve really just waited a few seconds. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world.
    How she behaved was vrot and rotten and disgusting! And bloody hell, if she’d have been that rude to me because I didn’t help her immediately, I’d have spat in her chicken – not really because I don’t have that guts but that’s what she should’ve gotten man!!
    Not all white people are like that, and I know they’re a minority, but seriously, us white people who are decent and have manners must stand up to these ones that feel they’re privileged!

  20. Bravo Lisa. I have got your back.
    This happens all the time and I am sick to the back teeth with it. Recently in Pick ‘n Pay the teller asked me where I was from. I said SA. She said “no way”. She said there as something different about me. I asked her to try and explain what she meant. She spoke to the packer. She agreed. They discussed it. Something about the way you look they said.
    I showed them my ID book. They were shocked.
    I think I know what it was they were getting at though.
    There is a white gaze, a white voice, a white attitude in this country which is stuck pre-1994.
    As a writer, thinker, human being, I have spent a lot of time unpacking and dismantling that white supremacy that was ingrained in us, in me. The shadows of my Benoni childhood.
    And I know after lots of hard hard work, introspection and reflection, a lot of that stuff is gone in me now. It was a hectic journey to de-programme myself. But I know get to live in SA. I get to walk the streets of downtown without fear. I get to drive through Soweto. I get to live here, rather than just exist here.
    This country is so much more beautiful and you are much more part of it when you force yourself down from that awful claustrophobic pedestal.
    I wish everyone would start to hold themselves to account, and for once point the finger at themselves rather than everybody else.
    Forget what the government or the taxi drivers have done wrong – yes we all know they aren’t perfect – but for once, just once, ask yourself what you have done wrong. It’s so liberating.
    So well done Lisa. Let’s call each other on this.

  21. PeaceHowHardCanitBe

    This is not about being black or white, privileged or poor. People of all races can be rude, intolerant, kind or racist. This is about showing tolerance, common decency and kindness, which everyone human should be showing to another, regardless of colour. Why reduce it to race? Perhaps to create some more drama? We need peace and guidance towards working together as a nation, not drama.

  22. This article hits the nail right on the head…. I bought food from our cafeteria that was excellently prepared and I went back a while later and asked to speak to the person who prepared my meal. I could see the faces dropping because they are so used to people complaining and then I thanked her for an excellent meal and told her that she is a wonderful cook. I wish you could see the shock on het face, and then it was replaced by pride and happiness. I then realised we all want to be accepted, that is all….

  23. I was gonna make a reply, but then I realised that I live in SA where everyone has to add their 2 cents, and where people provide such contrasting views that it makes one’s mind spin. So I just sit here, adding my 2 cents.

  24. Your story broke my heart. Truly it did, and it’s all too familiar to me, too.

    My wife and I have both seen similar things happening before, and on occasion (not always, but on occasion), we too have stood up and said something. Often, we’re met with the same reaction as you were. Sometimes, the guilty party looks very guilty, mutters an apology, and scuttles off. Other times, the reaction is somewhere in between.

    The thing is, it’s not only white people who do this to black people. It’s also black people who do it to black people, white people who do it to white people, and black people who do it to white people (granted, the latter two are rare, simply because it’s rare to find a white person in that role in this country, but we’ve seen it happen in restaurants with white waiters/bar staff).

    It’s PEOPLE who talk down to PEOPLE whom they believe are beneath them, whom they believe exist only to serve them.

    It’s got nothing to do with white privilege, in my opinion. Or, white anything, really. Or black anything, for that matter. It has to do with simple, common decency – which as we know all too well, isn’t particularly common these days.

    Why must we persist in bringing race into these discussions? The more we continue to identify each other as “black” or “white” (or “coloured” or “Indian”), the more we will be tempted to stereotype each other based on those lines, and (in my opinion) the longer it will take us to heal.

    Will there EVER come a time when we can just be “South Africans”, without any qualifiers? 🙁

  25. Have you never worked retail? Customers do this disregarding race, its always about race in this country not about how some people are just assholes.

  26. I have lived in Taiwan, India, UK and SA. I have seen interactions like this between many different people of different ethnicities. This behavior has nothing to do with race. In SA we have been indoctrinated into believing it does. We need to stop! Rudeness has nothing to do with the color of skin. That woman was not rude because she is “white” and the other is “black”. Nor because one is privileged and the other is not. We need to stop blaming race and recognize all humans behave badly at times, and all humans have a choice to give in to it, or to control themselves and be respectable no matter how we feel inside. Accountability is not a racial issue. Stop perpetuating the myth that it is.

  27. I don’t see how being rude makes you racist? Assuming the chick was rude because the lady putting in the sausage rolls was black is actually more racist. If you are a bitch you are a bitch to all colours sadly – as evidenced by the reaction the journalist got when she said something. Doesn’t mean that whities in this country need to pull their head out of their butts but in this instance, it’s a case of seeing racism where there potentially wasn’t any – a huge problem in SA

  28. I don’t see how being rude makes you racist? Assuming the chick was rude because the lady putting in the sausage rolls was black is actually more racist. If you are a bitch you are a bitch to all colours sadly – as evidenced by the reaction the journalist got when she said something. Doesn’t mean that whities in this country don’t need to pull their head out of their butts but in this instance, it’s a case of seeing racism where there potentially wasn’t any – a huge problem in SA

  29. I agree with the last two comments. There are good people and there are rude people. I do not care if you are white , black or purple- if you are rude you are rude towards all people as the writer of the original piece experienced. It has nothing to do with race!!

  30. Just the opposite happened to me years back in Woolworths in Claremont, Cape Town. I had been out of the country working as a volunteer in another country, so was not aware of the new setup in queing to pay for groceries. I saw an empty till and walked forward to pay. The assistant behind the counter screamed at the top of her voice “hey you stupid white women, do you think you are privileged, get to the back of the queue – do you think you are better than all of us? she said quite a long sentence of abuse, which I will not repeat. I was so shocked as I thought that I had only done the right thing and that her response was so hostile. I have heard from many others of similar experiences.

  31. I don’t speak to people the way you described; I think you should look up white guilt and further look at where it should and should not apply.

  32. I think the way in which this person spoke to the lady at the counter did have the tone of historical racism- however the bullying is also an issue. That person was both a Racist and a Bully.

    I have met many Bullies, many tend to lean Racist but not all- and they tend to have some misery in their own lives that makes them spew it to others as if that is their right.

    My only suggestion would be- if you are going to confront such a person- do it in the store- because it is likely other people nearby agree and if one person speaks, then more will agree and then this bully will not be able to fully live in her fantasy world of her being right and the other person being wrong- if a number of people also say they think it was unnecessary for her to talk to the counter helper in that way, she would quiet down a bit- perhaps remain indignant- but she would not dare yell obscenities in a threatening manner- she might mutter and leave.

    I also think that it has to do with Class- both literally and figuratively.
    Those with money may have never known- or have easily forgotten what a tough day or wekk can be for someone who is trying to make ends meet- and it really is the most awful thing when they feel so entitled as to talk down to people, to curse at people in the manner she did.

    But I have seen this in different countries- from all colors- but racism does come into play- as does Class derision.

    In some areas of NY- a number of minimally educated women have the shortest fuses and little to no regard for others. And they get meaner by Class and Race (ie the White women are the meanest and think they are entitled to be- though the darker shaded women can also be mean- it is not as constant and also not quite as rabid). so it does come into play.

    I have been in similar situations- and one thing I definitely do- is I often will talk to the person that was treated badly and smile and apologize on behalf of the monster- and say something nice. I do this because the recipient is often shocked (as you were!) and feels badly- but if someone is nice very soon after it can help minimize that shock and that bad feeling- and might return faith in humanity for the recipient.

    In these days and times- I might also record that offending woman, and I might try to find a local site or other social media to post it:-) these shaming days:-)
    people would recognise her and laugh:-)

    we can meet these people in all areas of retail and service industry.
    what is the saying, if you are on a date with someone and they treat the server badly- that is a red flag!

    I was religious for a short period of time- and I was studying and another student offered me a ride- and we spoke- at one point it came up that I was religious at the time- and she was shocked and said she had not met a religious person that was nice!
    She had been a server at a restaurant near where a number of religious people frequented and the patrons were mean. I apologized on their behalf- said that while certain people may be like this- not all were. But that is what can happen.

    In the end, we can also work on ourselves- watch our tempers- try to live by example- and apologize for the arses that cannot control their mouths!

  33. Hi, Lisa….do you realize that you are a snob and an elitist? Your sentence gave it away….”I had been playing in lala-land of academia and journalism where the white people around me are engaged, looking for solutions, looking to participate; forgetting that they are such a ridiculously small minority I don’t know if they’d even collectively pull a 0.0001% of the country.”……..so you reckon you are part of the exalted 0.0001% of the white populace that are getting it right in lala-land…….I wish I can take you to the real South Africa…..to were so many humble white factory workers, teachers, doctors, pensioners,farmers, students have made that headshift long ago…who are really treating every person with respect and kindness, and desperately want the country to heal and all persons afforded equal dignity…..i wish I can take you to my former high school…..previously afrikaans/whites only in a deep rural area where attitudes have long changed….and where all races learn and play together in unbelievable harmony….this year the headboy is black and headgirl white, last year the opposite…the learners choose their own leaders…..I can prove to you that it is not “such a ridicously small minority”…..Your piece on the ‘Bitch’ is good and valid, but she is not the rule….do not forget how she talked to you as well…..maybe in the mayhem that happened on campusses this week, you forget to look in the eyes of the brave white and black christian students at UP….who formed a human chain, holding hands and praying for peace and understanding….eventually outnumbering the combined total of the EFF and Afriforum protestors…there you will find the real SA, where ordinary people of good will are forging ever stronger links….please don’t preach from the lofty heights of the intelligentsia….there are so many ordinary people who have long transcended, open your eyes and you will see 10 acts of kindness and respect between black and white, for every one negative act that you witness. Hambe kahle.

  34. I’m a typical student at Stellenbosch University. I say typical, I’d rather call myself the “silent majority” of Stellenbosch. The type of person that breaks up fights, with nothing to their name other than time and the virtue of patience.

    I do, however, have no patience for the posh, stuck-up-in-middle-class or the people that think that the world owes them something. I have a burning hatred for them. Why is this? Because they have a *big* educational gap.

    The first things I was learned as a child was to respect my elders. The second thing I learnt was to teach the young and inexperienced to respect their elders.

    In Grade 8 we learned to look up to the Matric class, and to respect them. I lived by this pholosiphy till I got into Matric. “Who do I look up to now?” I looked down at the new Gr8s and then it hit me. I came to realise that this way of looking up to people was incorrect.

    You should respect and teach all respect by your actions and words. Without this fundimental skill, you can just as well not interact with other humans.

    The so called “Rhodes Must Fall” movement is a perfect example of young adults with the mentality of 5 year olds, burning history at the stake and crying revolution. Hypocrites.

    Open Stellenbosch is also well on their way to burning the experience and lessons of the elder community, thinking that they have all the power over the university with growing numbers. I’ll let you in on something. We learn interesting things at the forestry department. Especially about young big trees with close to no root structure. These tall trees fall the hardest on a windy day, to such an extent that the tip breaks off. Remember this for there will be no cry of timber.

    And then we get the blind followers, the “rent-a-crowd”, aimlessly strolling around, always doing as their told. Follow your own path, don’t put all your trust in heresay.

    But above all else.

    Respect others. For there is allways the chance that you could change another person’s perspective on the matter.

  35. hi Lisa, do you realize that you’re a snob and an elitist?…let me quote you “I had been playing in lala-land of academia and journalism where the white people around me are engaged, looking for solutions, looking to participate; forgetting that they are such a ridiculously small minority I don’t know if they’d even collectively pull a 0.0001% of the country.”……so you so yourself as part of the exalted 0.0001% who gets it…..I wish I can take you to the real SA, where if you open your eyes you will see hundreds of little acts of kindness and respect between black and white every day….where so many humble white factory workers, teachers, doctors, farmers have long ago made that mind change and truly accords real respect to everyone….i wish I can take you to my old high school….previously all white, Afrikaans in a deep rural area….now it is fully mixed, and it is wonderful to behold how all learn and play together…this year the learners choose a black headboy and white headgirl, last year exactly the opposite….maybe, if your eyes were open, you would have seen something amids the mayhem on university campuses….The black and white christian students, holding hands, praying for peace and understanding, eventually outnumbering the combined total of EFF and Afriforum protesters….a look in their eyes would have told you a deeper truth…..your piece on a ‘rich bitch’ is good and valid, but it is not the rule….remember how she talked to you as well, rudeness knows no race…..so no, do not preach from the lofty heights of the ‘intelligentsia’, but come and look for yourself among our common people….you will be surprised. Hambe kahle.

  36. hi Lisa, do you realize that you’re a snob and an elitist?…let me quote you “I had been playing in lala-land of academia and journalism where the white people around me are engaged, looking for solutions, looking to participate; forgetting that they are such a ridiculously small minority I don’t know if they’d even collectively pull a 0.0001% of the country.”……so you so yourself as part of the exalted 0.0001% who gets it…..I wish I can take you to the real SA, where if you open your eyes you will see hundreds of little acts of kindness and respect between black and white every day….where so many humble white factory workers, teachers, doctors, farmers have long ago made that mind change and truly accords real respect to everyone….i wish I can take you to my old high school….previously all white, Afrikaans in a deep rural area….now it is fully mixed, and it is wonderful to behold how all learn and play together…this year the learners choose a black headboy and white headgirl, last year exactly the opposite….maybe, if your eyes were open, you would have seen something amids the mayhem on university campuses….The black and white christian students, holding hands, praying for peace and understanding, eventually outnumbering the combined total of EFF and Afriforum protesters….a look in their eyes would have told you a deeper truth…..your piece on a ‘rich bitch’ is good and valid, but it is not the rule….remember how she talked to you as well, rudeness knows no race…..so no, do not preach from the lofty heights of the ‘intelligentsia’, but come and look for yourself among our common people….you will be surprised. Hambe kahle.

    • on the receiving end

      As a non-white, highly educated individual , I work in an environment that is predominantly White. I can safely say that WHITE PRIVELEGE is a very real phenomenon because I am constantly subjected to institutional racism and every effort to advance is thwarted by stringent gate- keeping which only promotes the advancement of white people. Furthermore, it never ceases to amaze me when Black support and maintenance staff are treated with indignity. There is no platform for open and constructive dialogue, as Whites are offended when their lack of respect is highlighted with a claim that they DON’T SEE RACE! That is the biggest anomaly because every major decision is invariably impacted on by WHITE PRIVELEGE , seeking out other Whites by word of mouth advertising so as not to get non- white applicants for key positions.
      When will whites stop their gate-keeping, respect that others have a valuable social and professional contribution to make, and therefore, deserve a fair and equal chance to progress in their strongholds???

    • Stephen I think her point is that change must continue to happen and it can only continue to happen when we start to address issues and people outside of colour. That deep rurarl Afrikaans school didnt change itself. someone had to take a stand…..(trust me i come from rural afrikaansdom too) and Im black and I was bullied at school because i spoke perfect English…..no one stood up for me. that was 25; 20; 15; 12 years ago. Some of the greatest nonsense I had the privily of experiencing it @TUKS, but thats another debate. So yes most white people cannot see the good or bad because its uncomfortable, or rather culturally Afrikaans people attack and denigrate any fellow Afrikaans person who seemingly (as in a hint) raises an objection to a black person being treated inhumanly. I am just glad that hopefully, next time she wont just let it pass. she wont let the FUCK YOUs intimidate and stop her. PS Lisa, if you knew the number of black people who have been at the receiving end of the venom behind that FUCK YOU>>>>

  37. Such ugly remarks. I know where you coming from. Well done! The time has come to address inequalities confronting white egoists like you did. You would probably not change her behavior, but you did it for yourself and for so many South Africans that are humiliated every day by people like her. I salute you.

  38. Why are you a colour? or race? why do you choose to refer to yourself as white or coloured or black for that matter? I am a human being, a man, a South African and more over I am an African and that is it. The moment i choose to refer to myself in a manner that focuses on how i differ from others with regards to the tone of my skin and their own in that moment essentially I am racist. I am a person I am alive I have hopes, dreams, ambitions and a family I love very much now I reckon we have more than a few of those things in common so, why is it that only one difference is able to completely blind us to it all?

  39. I came from and Afrikaans family, very conservative and religious and we were brought to have respect for any human being irrespective of Race, Religion or creed.

    My parents Educated all of our servants children and found all of them excellent jobs All of these children refer to my Mother as Mom, or Nana and kept very close contact with Nana all of their lives as well as visiting the at their home.

    It is a bitter pill to swallow when my Brother who was living with my elderly mother was hijacked outside her residence and nearly kicked to death. my Mother was attacked in her home while it was ransacked and she was tied up and thrown into the bathroom kicked and abused by black intruders.

    My husband and I adopted our maid son and gave him an excellent Education and has an excellent job with Solenta Aviation as well as his wife who work for an opposition co. my 2 white sons who are very well Educated cannot find work because they are white???? hE IS A GENTLEMAN WITH EXCELLENT MANNERS And he has integrity and I ma very proud of his achievements. as he is an excellent example to the Black people in SA

    Dont talk to me about Privilege. Where has this idiot been???? That went out the window when Nelson Mandella came into power, talked about redistributing wealth and Crime got out of hand and was ignored. he is NOT the Angle from heaven to rescue the land, no in fact he gave the black carte blanche to steal and rob white people and nothing was done about it.

    Whio is kiilling the farmers? White people??? Why is there this intense violence towards white
    people everywhere.
    I live in the UK and was in SA 18 months ago and could not believe the lever of ViOLENCE and Crime TOWARDS WHITE PEOPLE.

    be realistic, there is, no privileged whites any longer when they have to live in daily fEAR OF THEIR LIVES AND THE BLACK POPULATION IS HAVING ALL THE PRIVILEGES.

    GET REAL? Many of my family have been murdered by Blacks, robbed, high Jacked thrown in prison for fun as a form of revenge and suffering?
    This is all happening as a result of an ignorant arrogant illeterate moron ruling the Country who inflluance ignorant and illiterate people and encouirage them to behave like savages.

    The irreparable damage happening in SA today will take centuries to be restored if EVER?

    Anna Hunt

  40. Thanks for writing this article. It’s so sad and disheartening to see the defensive replies from white people. I’m losing hope for change. White people are so scared of blacks people killing us then why the hell they continue to be so rude and dehumanising? Stop treating black people like crap and then maybe you won’t be living in fear of being killed anymore

  41. I have worked as a waitress and as a teller.. Rude people come in all shapes and sizes and will be rude irrespective of who was standing there and whatever the race. There are too many people focussing on race. There are a lot of kind white people as well. My sister raises funds for an orphanage, works at liv village for free, my mother in law constantly raises money, collecting food and and and for local villages.. and and and… I personally go out of my way to be kind to anyone in The service industry as I have been on the other end. If you have been a waiter you will respect them, if you have been a secretary you will respect them.. Those that have little respect have probably not done the job themselves. You cannot single out one person and group everyone together. . It doesn’t matter what colour, you get rude in every single race!

  42. I am grateful for the comments that this article has induced. It voices the tension in SA right now, esp. with the student protests. Having read all the comments up until this point 2 things are clear:
    1. No person can live in guilt because of the colour of their skin. By that definition Germans shouldn’t live in ‘guilt’ because of what Hitler did – every individual is accountable for their own actions
    2. Growing up, my father would severely discipline us if we disrespected anyone – from the domestic to the queen! Every person educated or not, rich or poor has the choice of basic respect to another
    3. White people (here comes my subjective comment): should treat black people as they would their own AND
    4. Black people should USE the advantage of the power they hold in SA to enable themselves, not eradicate the ‘white man’ and everything related to ‘whites’. If the time and energy spent trying to change street names, dislodge statues and interrupt a predominantly ‘white’ event like varsity rugby was spent on acquiring knowledge, creating opportunity and helping those less fortunate then perhaps there would already have been Xhosa, Sepedi and Zulu universities erected by now.

    How would black people want white people to react if apartheid was the other way around? Would they want their kids to have un-equal chance of getting a job because the colour of his skin? Would they want their culture eradicated, would they live if fear of saying anything that will be classified as ‘racist’?

    Giving my job, my car and everything I own away because ‘someone else is more entitled to it’ is giving away my self respect for earning a hard living and working 60hr weeks. Monetary value does not fix the problem, simply respect for other humans beings will change everything.

  43. You see the problem in South Africa, no, anywhere in the world, is that people refer to each other as ‘white’ or ‘black’ or ‘brown’ or ‘yellow’ etc, instead of just referring to each other as ‘a woman’ or a ‘man’ or a ‘person’. I started to read that article, but as soon as the author referred to a ‘white woman having a tantrum’ I stopped because in my years on earth I have seen many different colours of people throwing tantrums, NOT just white woman, and I´ve seen this All over the world. When people STOP referring to each other in colours, and start seeing each other for exactly who and what we are – FELLOW HUMAN beings, that´s when changes will start taking place, but by writing articles like this, perpetuating racism NOTHING will change. People need to stop Judging each other too, that includes implying that because you are white you are more privileged than others. This article is crap. It implies that all white people are spoilt, privileged brats and Let me assure EVERYONE in SA that this is certainly NOT the case….

  44. Lisa you did good to make this woman aware that her shitty attitude had been noticed and was unappreciated.
    There could be hundreds of different reasons for her behavior.
    One that i have not seen mentioned so far , given her attitude of entitlement and her overtly aggressive nature, appears to have a personality disorder.
    Personality disorders are not quite the same as your run of the mill mental health disorders .
    Have you heard of the term ” malignant narcissist ” or ” sociopath ”
    An attitude of entitlement and overt aggression are common to both of these disorders.
    Once again, i commend you for your courage, firstly by going to this woman in the parking lot and secondly by writing about this. It is a lot more than what most people would do.

  45. Please don’t turn this into a racial issue. The ‘woman’ treated both you and the shop assistant in a disrespectful manner. Her poor behaviour could stem from any number of causes.

  46. Hi Lisa

    I see a lot of people have spat various angles of venom at you and I do not even want to read their responses to you because I am trying to get away from all the negativity. I hear what you are saying, and it certainly does apply to some white people in this country. But the fact that I have a white skin does not mean that if I unfortunately am having a bad day and freak out at a black person, that I would not have freaked out if it were a white person. I see all people as people. Recently, I tried to point out to a black neighbour that it was cruel to keep her puppy locked outside in the sun on a balcony and that the puppy needed shade, a walk on occasion and inclusion inside the family home from time to time, but because she had seen me once in the company of a very racist white woman, she has labelled me the same and I had to deal with such venom, it made me physically ill for several days. The white lady that is a racist is someone I have been trying to teach and reach to get out of her racism, but it seems it is a lost cause. So I guess what I am saying is that all three of you in that interaction were wrong, the white lady being rude, the shop assistant having a racist reaction (feeling victimised by white people) and you by assuming that the white lady’s rudeness was pure racism, maybe she too would have said the same thing to a white shop assistant because she was having a bad day and was not in control of her emotions.

  47. Het dit al baaaie gesien. Wit mense wat dink hulle is beter as ander. Wit mense wat dink dat dit ‘n vreeslike sonde is as die verpleegster in die hospitaal of die kelner by Wimpy nie Afrikaans kan praat nie- maar sê vir my, kan jy hulle taal praat? Ek het al my kop in skaamte gesak as ek in die tou staan om gehelp te word en daar is een persoon wat ander probeer opstook oor die kassier te lank vat. Ek haal my hoed af vir ‘n kassier, want hulle doen so baie. Jy kan geld trek by die kassier i.p.v om bank toe te gaan. Jy kan sommige rekeninge betaal soos bv. water en ligte, Du Buisson en Vennote, Leserskring en ek weet nie wat nog nie. Jy kan selfs ‘n bus kaartjie koop van Pretoria na waar ook al. En dan kry hul maar net die salaris van ‘n kassier. Sies vir jou meneer wat kwaad word vir die kassier wat nie die bedrag kon lees nie. Ek skaam my vir jou, dame, wat so hard praat omdat jy nie jou sin kry en by die bestuurder probeer om die vrou in die moeilikheid te kry. Die vrou wat staan en wag en toekyk dat die een wat die “plastic bag” pak dit reg doen en nog uittrap ook oor dit nie volgens haar sin is nie- waarom doen jy dit nie self nie? Ons is almal mense. Jou geld, jou taal, die area waar jy woon, die werk wat jy doen, jou velkleur maak jou nie beter as enigiemand anders nie.

  48. So.. she yelled at the shop keeper, then she yelled at you, but its racist to yell at the shop keeper and not racist to yell at you?

  49. I don’t agree with this article AT ALL! what you did was because of your VALUES, nothing to do with Race…as described, she was mean to you and to the lady behind the counter, so she is racist to blacks and whites, and most probably every other race…na she is just a miserable person…it has absolutely nothing to do with RACE but VALUES!!!!!

  50. This is hardly about race. Im white and worked in a shop for two years. This is a common problem with people in general, no matter the race. Some customers were just rude, always no matter what. White, indian, black. Stop making everything about race! People in general are mean and have no manners, the main problem we have is not raising our children to have these basic values.
    Do you seriously think she would’ve treated a white person any different. Didnt she also swear at you as a white person? Believe me whenever you work with people, especially in a shop this will always occur. Some people are just brought up to think they are better than others.

  51. I applaud you for standing up for what’s right. However, I too agree that race was likely not the primary motivation for her actions. This woman was likely a controlling executive or executive on the way up, (Wannabe) who treat those “not on her plane” poorly regardless of race. Calling it racism as its primary motive fuels the fires of the black (or whatever group would have been affected) people who already feel oppressed. Here in the USA, where we have had our own share of race related problems, there seems to be a carryover. Anything that happens between a white person and a black person is racial. Sometimes, in fact I’d say most times it isn’t racial, but rather coincidental. Sympathetic white people feel guilty for the sins of our fathers, as it were, and call it race issues, when it should have been taken at face value. Person vs person regardless of race. White politicians feed this monster so that they are politically correct and can keep getting elected. It is a never ending cycle.

    We need to continue to improve in our interactions with all people regardless of race, religion creed or color. It is something called respect. It is severely lacking world-wide.

  52. This is such a nonsense article! I’ve worked in the hospitality/service industry for over 12 years now. People will give you hell and you will get it from all races. Yes you did say near the end that it’s ethics and manners etc. Why on earth make this a racial issue? I’ve been threatened “I will come back and kill you” because I closed a restaurant’s doors before a hungry man could get in (cause that was the closing time rule). I’ve been thrown with glasses and threatened (when I worked in a bar). I’ve been insulted and humiliated over and over. All these from different races. This is HUMAN NATURE unfortunately. I’ve never posted any of my stories online or complained about it…. why? Because I dealt with these issues then and there and set an example every single time. Acting crazy and angry towards anyone is a major sign of weakness. Be strong. Be an example. So what’s the great news? Yes who wants to hear some GOOD news? We in South Africa CAN gather (all race and religion) and have a ice cold South African beer and say…. FUCK THIS. I’ve had the best of times with every single race in this country. What race am I? Who knows….why does it matter? …If there’s an alien invasion and the aliens are extreme racists against all humanity as a whole, what will happen? Will we all die out because we’re too weak to join together? Too weak to set an example? Have a break people…have a kit-kat and a lager. Think before you sink. Peaceness

  53. I do also think that the blonde woman in question was just a rude person, but I still agree with the overall message of the article. I think it is a tough pill to swallow, but as white people we need to reflect on our actions and how we interact with others. I have seen many similar situations, and the sad part is that white people actually don’t realise they are being offensive. For example, a white colleague of mine gave a black colleague a nickname because she couldn’t pronounce their name. She wasn’t intentionally being offensive and was really polite and friendly towards them, but I could see the hurt in my colleagues face being called something else. Just because you aren’t rude like blondy in Woolies, doesn’t mean that you haven’t unintentionally offended someone. I don’t think white people are a bunch of rude racists walking around, but I do think a bit of self reflection is needed sometimes and to admit we aren’t perfect

  54. I take issue with this article., for a very simple reason – it has nothing to do with RACISM but with LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR OWN INTEREST. but you had every opportunity to say something then and there to the vile woman being disrespectful to someone older than her (again, not necessarily race) However, for YOUR sake and not wanting to ‘make a scene’ / perhaps cause some kind of embarrassment, you chose yourself over standing up for another person. Screw her reaction, he was being rude and should be called out on it – parents do it to their kids – she was acting like a spoiled child, so she deserved to be scolded like one. You had the option. The choice to say something but didn’t. DO NOT make the mistake of labeling your own lack of selflessness as “white privilege”. That my dear, is simply being spineless and selfish. DO NOT place others in that box. You need to leave your la-la land and join reality. Its harsh and stark, but at least its real and honest.

  55. Please don’t generalize. Why must any person except mediocre service, with this is Africa de hell with thiš. One of the biggest Robles in S.A is poor service. Regardless if you are white or black. Please remember if a client takes his money somewhere else due to your bad service you cost everyone their jobs.

    This you get this service problem that they are doing you a favour to assist you. Doesn’t matter white or black, or age. Zero tolerance for bad service. Please do not racialize everything and everyone to make it about color

  56. “I know that that woman behind the counter and every person in any kind of service position has to deal with some white people throwing tantrums when the world doesn’t do e.x.a.c.t.l.y what they want.”

    This is an insane generalisation! That women had no manners, so you just resume that every white person in South Africa is like that? The colour of ones skin has nothing to do with this bullshit. How about we all just respect each other no matter what and don’t create stereotypes based on one person?

  57. I have lived 3 years in South Africa from 2000 to 2003. As so many foreigners I fell in love with your country, not only for the beautiful landscapes, but especially for the long history of fighting for freedom. I felt so happy of setting foot on the soil of a new South Africa. White myself (I feel strange telling that since I am not used to define myself this way; I travel around the world and interfere with people without having in mind the color of my skin all the time) I had few white friends I have to say, and the few I had where not South Africans. I can’t really find the reason to this but I felt something like a discomfort. The situation you describe in your article is not specific to white people in South Africa; it happens all over the world and not only white people are involved. Throughout the course of History, privileges have dehumanized powerful people (have a look at the origins of the French Revolution). All the same, I understand that this kind of situation is much more delicate in South Africa, given his painful past. In the particular case of the woman at Woolworths, she is a rude person with a total lack of education and she deserved a good lesson, in front of all other people queuing. The problem here is not only about racism, white people or not, is about human relations and respect, where those who enjoy a rather high economic status (buying at Woolworths says it all!) are used to giving orders to those who do not enjoy the right to an adequate standard of living. I hope next time you will not think twice and swallow your courage, but rather stand up against intolerance and injustice, no matter the “ethnic” origin of the people involved; or is that, perhaps, you were afraid of the reaction of the other white clients of this upper middle class supermarket?

  58. My, you’ve opened a can of worms! Saskia sums it up for me – that you’ve presumed this is due to racism, is ridiculous. Your article only serves to fuel racism. The scenario described is simply this: the shop in question, at peak times, should have someone devoted to serving customers rather than re- stocking the shelves. The customer in question lacks respect for others and for herself – anger management may help. It is certainly not an issue related to the colour of one’s skin.

  59. So I read this article and my immediate response is the following:

    So she (Miss I have no manners) spewed and cursed you, the author (a white lady), yet she was a racist for (all-be-it rudely) addressing the lady working behind the counter as “Girlie”??

    Nope sorry this is NOT and I repeat… NOT a race issue!! Her behaviour resonates a lack of morals, manners, and humility (the little rant in the car park perhaps even more so than the happenings in the store), and although I am not for one second saying that she is, or is not a racist – just that there is no evidence from this article to formulate a sound opinion either way. Her behaviour towards the author seemed to be far worse than towards the lady behind the counter – um what’s the name for that? Still racism??

    Oh – white privilege of course – sorry my bad – by definition it means what exactly screaming foul words at another white person in the parking lot?? Hmmmm, you see my point? Why turn this into a racial article when clearly it has very little to do with race and everything to do with a SNOB!

    Outrageous behaviour! Frankly shocking – not racist – perhaps elitist – but let us not confuse the two!

    Well that’s my two cents worth anyway…

  60. Manners, common decency to fellow human… It’s not difficult practice.

  61. Her out break is ridiculous yes but I am white I am yet to see this privilege people are referring to cause I’d like a bit please. Come on people the problem is not that any one of us is actually in the right not one colour we are all individuals hello it’s 2016 not 19 long gone instead of complaining showing problems find a solution to other problems wtf is the point we were all born here for fuck sakes grow a set of balls we are south Africans after all don’t you agree this racial problem is a joke you all want to get hung up on the past when all you need to do and this is directed at screamy blondy in her wollys get an attitude adjustment we are individuals treat others as you would want to be treated stop been morons. This racial thing is sickening

  62. That most beautifully descriptive uniquely South African word GATVOL is making a big comeback.
    It’s understood by everyone and is even more relevant in today’s South Africa than it was in the good old South Africa I remember so fondly. In fact now everybody’s GATVOL, for different reasons.
    I am personally GATVOL of people with a keyboard who call themselves journalists. No one is a reporter anymore. Everyone’s a journalist with an opinion and the technology to talk KAK at the drop of a hat (Now that’s another beautifully crafted uniquely South African Word almost as famous as the definite JUST NOW)
    The freelance ‘journalist’ responsible for this self-opinionated piece of KAK is probably freelance because there are no real jobs for white journalists so I assume she is waiting on her papers to join the rest of her tribe in Melbourne, London or wherever. Right now she’s living in that ever-decreasing first world Northern suburbs bubble and pontificating that one bad tempered customer translates to all whites needing a quick course on how to deal with white guilt. That’s KAK isn’t it?
    Most Joburg Kugels are in a hurry, come across as bad tempered and rude, but hey, have you been to Paris, Tel; Aviv or Sydney recently? I am personally GATVOL of reading KAK on the interweb. What do you say?

  63. Great, thought provoking piece. I am horrified at the rage and hatred in some of the comments.
    The pen is mightier than the sword. Thank you for speaking out, and never stop writing

  64. I am so tired of this generalization that ALL white people throw their so called “white privilege” in everyone’s face. I’m white, didn’t go to university because my parents couldn’t afford to send me so I have a matric. The privilege I have in my life is a job that I was qualified to get and experience, I might add, that I have worked very hard for over the years. The salary I get affords me my car, the tiny roof over my head, medical aid etc. I WORK HARD for all those things, I also know what it’s like to be unemployed and in debt and struggling to make ends meet. Any time I go to a shop and either ask for something or when I am at the check out counter, without fail, I say hello mam/sir to the person serving me, I ask them how they are and if they are having a good day, at the end I thank them and wish them a good day further. I’m sure there are plenty of white South Africans out there that do the same. The story about this woman has nothing to do with so called “white privilege” and everything to do with disrespect. She was just a disrespectful bitch and those come in every colour!!

  65. It is not helpful to distort everything into a race issue.

    If a Woolworths trainer had been present, they would have enforced company policy, which is to serve the customer first.

    Sorry, but the rude woman was in the right. Deal, and hold the #virtuesignalling.

  66. I am not White, I suffered racial abuse, I was refused employment and later promotion because of my black arse, my family suffered financial loss because of apartheid etc.. What is RACISM ?..don’t cheapen it by saying an “angry” blond lady or rural “boer” personifies racism. Many non-whites friends and family treat retail workers the same, sometimes justified, sometimes not. RACISM is exactly this stupid GENERALISATION of a whole race, based on a single experience. Some liberal whites can be so naïve.

  67. Dear Lisa,
    I am white woman working in the service industry and just this week an Indian lady spoke so rudely to me over the phone, trying to manipulate me to do what she wants. This is not a racial thing, its an upbringing thing. Ive seen many other coloured priviledged people acting dusrespectful towards others.

  68. People from all races are rude to service industry workers. A certain type of person who are frustrated with how their day is going etc will take this frustration out on a hapless sales clerk or server because they know these people will have to take the abuse. I am white and got crapped all the time on by customers when I had a retail job. I remember the humiliation and rage I felt during these instances. These customers were almost always white, but white or black, they wore flashy clothing and accessories. I eventually came to understand that these people saw their rudeness as justified by their class position. Since retail clerks and servers have lower social status than they do, they do not have to treat them with respect, a commodity reserved for equals and superiors.

    Thank you for not talking to the woman in the store. She would have made a massive scene that would have embarresed the server even further. A bystander once took on a rude customer in the store I worked at and the two nearly came to blows at the till. They had a loud fight for almost 10 minutes, disrupting other customers.

  69. i belive this post its self is what is wrong with our racial tension in this country, out of he 26 countries I have been to I have witnessed behavior such as this fairly often in all of them. It is not about the color of the persons skin, that women was just rude, I have seen White people talk to white people in the same manner, black people talk to black people in the same manner. The man sitting behind the bakery in Germany being spoken to in the same way by a man of the same colour and culture. You get some seriously rude people in this world full stop. No need for generalization in any manner. Packing every problem into the racist box is an easy cop out and in this case a far stretch from the truth and in this journalists case, poor journalism fueled by emotion and no understanding.

  70. I grew up as a privileged white South African and now live in the UK. As a teenager I used to come across this type behaviour. It has nothing to do with race or colour it has to do with manners, breeding and the ability to emphasize with people who are doing you a service. If they are deliberating ignoring you and giving you bad service I believe that one may point that out in a manner that befits one own manners and breeding – something this woman clearly lacks. Having been exposed to such appalling behaviour I have always pointed out to the person that it is they who are wrong and not the server. I have done this ever since I can remember. It is incumbent on those who can to inform those who cannot preferably in the moment so that they can learn.
    I believe that the journalist, who correctly points out that she is part of very small minority, needs to expand her horizons and go beyond her small circle of friends and see how the rest of South Africa and the world relate. Once she has done this she will (hopefully) see that race has little to do with this behaviour and that it is manners, breeding and the ability to treat another person with respect that are the deciding factors.

  71. There is no white privilege but only the privilege of all of us to be born in such a beautiful and multicultural, deep history country with endless opportunity. There is no Black discrimination only disgust and knowledge that every government from year one has failed ALL our people. As a white yes I had the privilege to demonstrate against Apartheid and almost get thrown out of university. I had the privilege to refuse to do conscripted military service and be kindly offered with glee six years in Jail. -Of those two years i was sworn at every day and treated like scum, beaten and called ANC which became the name i was known by. Because of my white privilege my career opportunities have been severely limited because of that. No the only privilege we have is to be proudly called South African. Like my dear friend who always politely helps me as a petrol pump attendant who left SA at age 12 to go train in a ANC camp in Tanzania, did he even get a meddle or a thank you NO. All I see is two men who could have done so much more with our lives and for our country the past we can not change we can learn from it and not repeat it again and ALL pull together and be proud of our combined home and move forward ALL seeking not apology or thanks and doing what is right for all of us everyday. For us to be proud of our fellow countryman and privileged to be proudly South African

  72. Her actions were unacceptable, and well done for trying to help her to understand that.
    That kind of reaction is not normal. Maybe she found out her husband was cheating on her, feels like shes being pushed aside and taken for granted. And goes to get food and is in a state of hyper sensitivity. Then feels even more taken for granted and neglected over something small and silly. And then you confront her and don’t know her situation.
    So don’t feel bad at all, it was good thing you tried to do, well done!

  73. Thank God I had a mother who never ever said a bad word to any person. If some one told a dirty joke she would turn her back and walk away. Very few people new that my mother had her doctors degree inphysio therapy. She did not want to belittle my father and the other reason was the way many south african men had not grown up .to realize women had a place in this world aswell. To me it is just away of upbringing and just being a criminal minded person,who cannot see that others have what jy have not and so destoy thst which is not theirs .

    • Michael Mzamani sibanda

      It’s very bad when people focus in colour for whatever happens. Let’s deal with issue or the problem that have occurred and leave colour behind. If we fix our focus in colour we will definitely compromise the Great Commission. “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations. All nations means all colour, it’s bad when we see people who call themselves Pastors participating negatively about colour, taking side because of colour, while the reality they were suppose to pinpoint the problem and take a stand to correct the situation.

  74. I agree with the article. I’m just not sure if you can really label it as an incident that happened because the lady was a racist. What if it was a white lady behind the counter? She sounds like someone who treats anyone like crap. Maybe she just has really bad manners?

  75. After reading this : Don’t you think you should help the customer standing in front of you and stop what you are doing?!”.
    My conclusion to this: If the attendant at Woollies was employed to assist and serve customers, she should have firstly tended to the customer this would have resulted in 1. The lady in the bad mood would have gotten what she wanted with out having to loose her dignity in the store, left and still be in her bad mood. 2. The employee at Woolies would have then been able to continue doing what she was doing once all the customers where served. 3. And you would have been spared the horror of witnessing this un-necessary incident.

  76. For crying out loud… I’m so sorry that you messed up your quest to police “whiteness”. Perhaps, next time, you might think a bit further and not conflate “protecting the innocent” with “stroking your own ego”? That counter-assistant (I think that’s the job title – but I could be wrong) probably deals with those types of people fifty times a day! If you had ever been forced into a crappy, customer-facing job like that instead of hiding away in the ivory towers of academia you would have known that it comes with the territory. If you had made a scene at the till, you would have probably made her day more difficult, not easier. Think before you apply your lofty idealism to people in the real world. Out here, there are consequences.

  77. some whites are fucked up who do they think they are… it’s not like they important or anything they act like they know better but no….

  78. well, it is good article, and i condem what the blacks are doing in south africa, in the mean time i must endose the idiom here, as you sow , so shall you reep, ,, why are you crying now, just look what you have done in the world not only in south africa, but not with whites ,, only with other colors, dont you feel ashamed, i still meet some time some whites from south africa ,and they still are very proud of there past, and still same rasicit,…. and still they are the same, do you hear me, still the same,,

  79. From reading most comments one should realise that white South Africans will never change, whenever black people voice their opinions they always point out “Anc this, I have a black friend, etc”.

    My question to you all is how do you hate someone for the colour of their skin, how do you hate people who you’ve never had a negative encounter with so much?

    After all your grandparents and forefathers have done to black people and they in turn forgave you and let you live in peace but you still hate us for that?! All of you who deny white privilege and racism in South Africa will face the consequences one day. One day black people will say enough is enough and they’ll unleash violence on all of you. Keep on turning a blind eye to all this, South Africa will burn from all your hatred!!

    • My grandfather was never here. We see people like you decry being judged by the color of your skin all the while judging us by ours. You are a coward. Come and unleash your violence on me and see how well that works out. Just remember that there are many many flks out here who are former military, and not only from this country.
      But then, someone like you only understands violence and hatred. That is why things will never change for you and those of your ilk. Many of the people out here, black, white, indian, asian are sick to death of racists of all colours. Live and let live. If you disagree with some one who has such a twisted opinion, smile and walk away, leave them yelling at the wind so they feel foolish, argue with them and you justify them, this permits the foolishness to continue. not that this will get through to you as your hatred is so putrid that your soul is permanently scarred by it. Best of luck

    • Repeating the ANC manifesto over and over and wholly incapable of iriginal thought. You arent even worth arguing.

  80. I have been in the ladies shoes, as I work in the service industry. I have been abused, threatened and mocked by disrespectful people of all colours, creeds and religions. It is not a colour thing, it is a problem with the distinct lack of manners being instilled in kids through the lack of proper discipline. The chips on many peoples shoulders are unbelievable. But I just think to myself, “that person doesn’t really matter in my life, so why should their opinion.” I do not give them permision to make me feel inferior nor do I allow them to control my day by influencing my emotions.

  81. I read your article, relating to it a lot but when you got to “white privilege” you lost me. This isn’t “white people this” “white people that”. Other races are just as guilty.

    I don’t want a guy leaning against and touching my car? “you are a boer. A white, racist boer”. I politely ask a man to pick up his beer can he threw on the ground? His friend looks at me with the look of murder on his face and in his eyes.

    But I deserved it because I’m white. I’m a white, racist boer who deserves everything that comes my way, right. Yes, cause I’m … WHITE.

  82. Oh Lisa, i know you personally and i see that your super liberal views havent changed. You dont have white guilt, you have rich parent guilt.

    All i ask of you is that when civil war breaks out (when the government runs out of money, and its running out of money fast) and white people are slaughtered by the thousands, please keep them in mind while your rich family takes you out of the country safely as others you call “privilaged” wont have that privilage, and keep in mind that you contributed to their demise.

    But ofcoarse, your mind cant comprehend that because you have truly lived a privilaged life. Unlike the thousands ordinary white South Africans that have had to work for a living.

  83. Susan Whittaker

    Good Day,

    I feel I must comment. I am 37yrs of age and white. I got retrenched on the 1st December 2015 on the basis of LIFO. I worked hard, was nominated for an award. It has been over 6 months without work, I have a 14yr old daughter to raise as a single parent. Many people have told me I am the wrong race, I am educated, hard working. It feels like the old days where now I am even applying for domestic work as no one wants to give me a chance due to the colour of my skin.

  84. Interesting. I’m surprised at the large number of comments here. I’ve always felt that commenting on the internet was more of an American thing, as well as pointless and degenerate, and not a trend among South Africans.

    Looks like I was wrong. Regarding the article, no doubt the woman was extra condescending because the lady behind the counter was black. However, as others have stated, this is also a plain case of rotten manners and a spoiled individual. Even many very openly racist people would never have spoken that way. My grandfather did not hold black people in very high regards, as was fairly typical of white people in his time, but regardless he would never have spoken to a black person that way and would have beaten me senseless if he heard me address a person of any colour like that, as it is plain rotten manners. In fact, even at the height of Apartheid the overwhelming majority of white people still would not have addressed a black person in the manner described in the article. Let’s also not forget that there is such a thing as a de-facto class system in our country, with the rich, just like everywhere else in the world, somewhat inclined to be condescending towards the middle class and the poor, and this completely transcends racial boundaries. So unless racial slurs are being specifically used let’s rather not make something a racial issue, as it is unacceptable to speak to any person that way under any circumstances.

    As for the white privilege thing… well of course it exists, but there are plenty of whites who don’t have it, who can’t rely on a nice family fortune or business legacy, who have to work very hard to pay their study debts and to make ends meet with no significant inheritance to look forward to as a safety net. Also, South African whites lack many of the white privileges of, say, American whites simply due to being a minority in this country, for example, our police force isn’t white, as is is the case in the US. Fear most certainly keeps many white people treading carefully. We know our illusory secure lives can be upturned very easily – we are vulnerable and on constant thin ice.

    In South Africa, we need mutual respect and egalitarian principals drilled in and taught from a young age. In addition, we need to respect each other’s right to identify as whichever group we want to belong to and give each group its space. The current government agenda to force all universities to abandon the offering of classes in Afrikaans and their pressuring and terrorizing of Afrikaans schools into switching to teaching in English in order to “combat segregation” and to “encourage interracial mixing” is unethical and will cause immense damage to race relations in the near future. This practice mirrors the Apartheid practice of forcing people to be separate, but instead of segregating, it now forces people to mix even if they don’t want to and even at the expense of killing a language. It will open up a big can of worms. If these are the reasons being put forward for the complete Anglicization of universities and Afrikaans primary and high schools – that Afrikaans creates classroom segregation and that white Afrikaans people should be forced to mix more with black people, then by the same logic the government might as well ban or criminalise the speaking of Afrikaans entirely, as the language will always keep Afrikaans people a socially discriminating and selective group that will seldom socialise with, have sex with or inter-marry with black people. There is nothing wrong with that. The freedom of association and choice of friends and partners must be protected along with all our languages. Be prepared for increasing animosity and even further deteriorating race relations as Afrikaans whites will not take kindly to the killing of their language as a medium of education for their children, especially as they built those academic institutions themselves and it will ultimately result in the slow death of the language, (see the Irish language as a case study). Instead of building more schools (which is probably not as easy as it sounds) the government will be expending energy on fighting already full Afrikaans schools to switch to English dual medium and then sucker punch them with allegations of racism, as happened with the hapless Curro school in 2015, to get them to switch over to English entirely.

    Nevertheless, I believe your article did serve its purpose. We do need to be more sensitive. We are at the mercy of the majority and we need to treat them with their due respect, as they have been very tolerant of us so far. Thankfully incidents as the one described in the article are an exception.

  85. Thank you, Lisa, for posting a petty article about privilege while actively ignoring the thousands of innocent white farmers being slaughtered in your country while your government turns a blind eye. Thank you for dragging whites through the mud while black south africans live in destitution due to their own violence and political system which is actively favoritist in their name at the expense of whites. Your petty anecdote about one irrational white woman truly highlights the great issues- that being deluded suicidal whites like you without any sense of reality or care for your own race. Get a clue before you’re victimized by that disgusting system too.

  86. What a bunch of nonsense.

    I smell the KIKE.

  87. Looks to me libturd are instinctivelly racist, even despising their very own. Blow up something insignificant enough to cover up al lthe real bad stuff going on. Its like the bantu who dislikes what he sees i nthe mirror rubbing of on some whites. Fulminating words in a story in such a manner to target and play on feelings. Crypto-jew-afrikaner who hates the Boers. Propaganda in the refinest of ways. Cmon everyone lets Nuke a fly with a 150 megaton yield thermal nuclear warhead. No one will notice the 80 000 + Boers who have been murdered so far. Very clever way to incite hatred against the White minority. You cant force them to be Bantu so you critisize and condemn them.