Mr President: â€œYou wanna see a chicken run? Iâ€™ll drown you in your firepool!â€
How should we respond to the Nkandla security video shown in Parliament? We could get angry; we could laugh (so we donâ€™t cry); or, we could listen to Sizwe Mpofu Walshâ€™s 2014 track, Mr President. Actually, weâ€™ve been doing just that since yesterdayâ€™s farce, and we strongly recommend you do too.Â
So, President Jacob Zuma is not going to pay back the money, after police minister Nathi Nhleko said he didnâ€™t have to. No surprises there.
But never underestimate our governmentâ€™s ability to reach new lows. What did come as a surprise yesterday was the demonstration video on Nkandla, firepools, chicken runs and â€œvital security featuresâ€ that Nhleko showed in parliament.
Mr president, this is for the people who youâ€™re tryna fool
This is for the people, so itâ€™s time to school
This is for the cronies who admire you: you wanna see a chicken run?
Iâ€™ll drown you in your firepool!
Mpofu-Walsh originally released Mr President, a remix of a track by Tunisian rapper El GÃ©nÃ©ral, in April last year in the run-up to the general elections.
But thereâ€™s a good reason it’s been giving us earworm in the last few days: with the release of the Nkandla report â€“ not to mention the delaying tactics around the release of the Farlam Commission report â€“ itâ€™s become, if possible, even more relevant today.
South Africans are waiting with baited breath for Public Protector Thuli Madonselaâ€™s response to the police report on Nkandla, which contradicts the findings of her own report, issued in March last year, that stated the president should pay back a â€œreasonableâ€ portion of the money used to upgrade his private home in Nkandla.
To quote Mpofu-Walshâ€™s lyrics again: â€œFooled me once, but you canâ€™t fool Thuli.â€
Heâ€™s right there, but unfortunately the public protector lacks the supporting political will for her findings to be enforced.
Which leaves us with a final question posed by Mr President: â€œWhere do you run when the presidentâ€™s a thief? Where do you go when the criminalâ€™s police?”
Let us know if you have an answer to that one, because weâ€™re stumped.