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Why is it so hard to talk about sex in Pretoria?

Pretoria isn’t known for its sex appeal. As far as social delinquency goes, South Africa’s administrative capital is still pretty conservative, hey. There is a smattering of scandalous activities every so often, such as the Mavuso sex stokvels where mutually consenting parties pay for a good time, but for the most part Pretorians like to keep their private business hushed up. Or is that changing? MISHKA WAZAR spoke to some young Pretorians about why it’s so difficult to talk about sex in Pretoria.

Byron Erasmus

“I think that Pretoria is very conservative and it is a problem to talk about sex. There are a lot of religious reasons why it’s not acceptable, and the diverse cultures and traditions don’t really allow for an open discussion about it.

I don’t have a problem about discussing sex in public, everybody has sex, that’s why we exist.  Some people will feel uncomfortable but I don’t have an issue with it.” -Byron Erasmus, 27, audio engineer

Tshepo Maseko

“I don’t think that it’s just Pretoria that has a problem with talking about sex. It’s all over the place. Religion and culture makes it an issue. I’m an open person, I prefer to talk about things before acting. Consent is very important, no means no.

I find it so much better when we talk about it. In a social setting, I think it’s just another topic, if someone learns from it that’s great. We have to move forward.” – Tshepo Maseko, 25, audio engineer

karabo segdela

“I’m from Pretoria and I think it’s okay to talk about sex. We can talk about sex with everyone, in a group of friends we all talk about it. We talk about our own experiences, our methods and how to have sex.

I don’t think it’s a problem to talk about sex in Pretoria, at least I never feel that way.” – Karabo Segdela, 25, teacher

khanyisa bobie (1)

“I think people are ashamed and embarrassed to talk about sex.

Some people want to talk about, because everyone has questions, but there’s a stigma against it and people attach shame to sex as a whole. We’re taught from a young age that we shouldn’t be talking about sex, it’s never discussed.” –Khanyisa Bobie, 18, student

nthabiseng tseoua

“I don’t know if it is okay to talk about sex. With my friends, it depends on who they are and whether I can trust them. I think it is an acceptable topic though, it needs to be discussed because times are changing. We should talk about sex because it happens.” – Nthabiseng, 18, student

reamo mocwane

“I don’t think that it’s a taboo to talk about sex in Pretoria. Sex is so natural, and we especially shouldn’t be hiding sex from kids because they will learn about it from other people.

I think it’s so important to talk about sex with friends because who else are you going to learn from. I think people talk about their own sexual experiences the most, to share their own feelings and learn from them” – Reamo Mocwane, 23, fashion designer

Is it easy to talk about sex in your dorp, town or city? Or is it just like Pretoria, hey? Talk to us in the comments below, or tweet us @thedailyvox.

Images by Mishka Wazar

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