To my abusive ex husband,
This letter isnâ€
When times were good, nothing could come between us, but when it was bad, I felt like I was fighting an entire army alone trying to save us – trying to save you, because I loved you and saw past all that you did to me and those who cared for you.
On the last day I spent with you, after the last assault, I reached a point where I was too tired. I was unable to help you anymore. I realised you were too far gone. Iâ€
After I limped out of our marriage, I often wondered why Iâ€
I had no income and had debts to pay, most of which were incurred by you, for you and because of you. You didnâ€
Did you think that you would ruin me by not giving to me what was rightfully mine, by depriving me financially? For a person that claims a strong belief in religion, are you unaware that there is a power greater than you, and that God forbids oppression and punishes the oppressors?
I dragged myself out of your grip and moved in with my parents. I had nowhere else to go but I felt that I was a burden to them. You knew very well what it would be like for me to live with my parents again, and you thought it would make you feel more in control and give you power over me.
You hurt me deeply, you left me with open wounds and for a long time I thought that the pain would never leave. Knowing your pride, you wouldnâ€
I never hated anyone before. You were the first and the last.
I have to thank you for one thing, though. Thank you for drawing blood that day. Because if that didnâ€
So many women stay in abusive marriages because, itâ€
My daughter, too, is relieved that I left you. I neglected her because I made you my everything, and by doing that, I hurt her. By leaving you, Iâ€
Every time I thought of you, and all that I went through in my time with you, I just took deep breaths and exhaled all the pain. That was my coping mechanism. Eventually, the nightmare ended; I woke up. I found the wounds had healed and the scars had faded. I felt relieved, fearless, pain- and guilt-free.
You were my biggest lesson. It was a real knock to my head, literally, to learn to respect and love myself, to make me first in my world and to be selfish, to worry about myself.
I have come a long way. The pain isnâ€
From your ex, who is making her own happily ever after.