If you were born in the late 80s or 90s, chances are youâ€™re part of the Harry Potter generation. We all know the story about the 11-year-old orphaned white boy who gets thrust into the world of witchcraft and wizardry – where, it turns out, he is actually famous. But hereâ€™s a plot twist: imagine yourself at Black Hogwarts. If you canâ€™t, thatâ€™s okay because Black Twitter did it for you under the epic trending topic that is #BlackHogwarts: a beautiful combination of memes and genius. The Daily Vox rounds up.Â
Every Harry Potter fan dreamt about receiving the Hogwarts acceptance letter into a school that teaches magic. The first obstacle for black Hogwarts though is every black motherâ€™s objection to witchcraft.
â€” chris âœðŸ¿ (@i_amchristiann) January 12, 2018
But if a black witch/wizard made it through to Hogwarts, the next obstacle is the sorting hat. Literally a hat with a mouth, it sorts you into a house which becomes your family for the duration of your schooling career. We all know Gryffindor is for the brave, Hufflepuff the compassionate, Ravenclaw the smart-asses and Slytherin for the cunning. But Black Hogwarts has a sorting durag instead. Weâ€™re SCREAMING.
The most important part of the sorting process is being put in the same house as your fam.
â€” Geofilters & Jokes (@overlaysr) January 12, 2018
â€” OMG its Khairy ðŸ’“ (@ComedianKhairy) January 12, 2018
But if youâ€™re sorted into Slytherin, you donâ€™t have time for peasants. Everyone knows Slytherin didnâ€™t get this far tryna talk to muggles (non-magic folks).
â€” Shayde Sinclair (@shayde_sinclair) January 12, 2018
Can you think of a more fitting Ravenclaw girl squad?
â€” Gabriella (@gabriella_tl) January 12, 2018
But the best part of Black Hogwarts has got to be the Quidditch matches – the sport that magic folk play on broomsticks. And with Black Hogwarts, every match will begin with Colin Kaepernick-style kneeling.
â€” Brian Wasson (@Learnaftreading) January 12, 2018
Speaking of Quidditch, that Nimbus 2000 Premium Broomstick is not just for flying. Any black mother would see to that.
â€” Danny & Cleo (@DannyAndCleo) January 11, 2018
Can you just imagine the spectators at the Quidditch games doing the swag surf? A thing of beauty.
â€” La Phlare (@color_me_phoebs) January 12, 2018
The halls at Hogwarts are filled with portraits of legendary witches and wizards. And who better to rep opposing houses as legends at Black Hogwarts than Tupac and Biggie?
â€” Brianna E. Tyson (@PUSHABRI) January 11, 2018
One thing that was definitely missing from author J.K. Rowlingâ€™s Hogwarts is the swag and pizzazz. Letâ€™s be honest, an invisibility cloak? Nobody is rocking a cloak in 2018 (or ever). But invisibility Tims on the other hand, thatâ€™s genius and stylish.
â€” TJ Sanders (@TubaTeej) January 12, 2018
Everyone knows sneakers are sacred. If you violate the code of respect and deference for other peopleâ€™s sneakers, itâ€™s punishable by an Unforgivable Curse.
â€” Killua Ken (@thephenominall) January 12, 2018
Remember that time Ron Weasley got a howler (an enchanted and explosive letter) for driving his dadâ€™s flying car? Imagine the howler you could receive for forgetting your chores. And you thought passive aggressive texts were frightening.
â€” J.T. (@Jevandt_) January 11, 2018
The Marauders Map tells you exactly where people are – and they canâ€™t turn their location services off. Itâ€™s perfect for lurkers – and catching your friends doing what they said they wouldnâ€™t.
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good, indeed.
â€” Milto ðŸŒ»ðŸ¯âœ¨ (@milteaux) January 12, 2018
But the best part of the #BlackHogwarts trend is the casting. Itâ€™s so accurate.
Letâ€™s start with the obvious. Thereâ€™s only one person that could teach herbology and thatâ€™s Snoop Dogg.
â€” Kiki RochÃ© (@OnionsAndWine) January 11, 2018
Forest Whitaker for Mad-Eye Moody – do you see it? We see it.
â€” AfroRavenclaw ðŸ’›ðŸ’™ (@xxrocqstarxx) January 12, 2018
Y’all already know Morgan Freeman is playing Dumbledore, he played God, for crying out loud.
â€” lil hand sanitizer (@scuba718) January 12, 2018
The Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is supposed to be a badass (despite the dodge characters in the series), and no one is more of a badass than Samuel L. Jackson.
â€” Steve Sellers (@Shadewing) January 12, 2018
Rita Skeeter: an annoying faux-journalist that knows everything about anyone and lives for the tea? Wendy Williams come thru!
â€” Hermione Granger (@Erica_Kay) January 12, 2018
As for Dolores Umbridge, she still white.
â€” Jack Burton (@kelly4NC) January 11, 2018
We all know who the ultimate villain, Lord Voldemort would be. Say it together now people, Donald Tru-.
â€” ismael (@ishhkaz) January 12, 2018
And there would be no confusion in what to call him. There’d be none of this He-who-must-not-be-named, Dark Lord bullshit. His parents named him Tom Marvolo Riddle and heâ€™d be called Tom Marvolo Riddle till the day he died.
â€” Patrick Lewis (@PatrickLewis_) January 12, 2018
And the bad guy always gets caught, just ask Jimmy Jacobs.
â€” Jeff J. (@JeffJSays) January 11, 2018
Can we all agree that Black Hogwarts is the best thing to happen to anyone so far in 2018?
#BlackHogwarts is by far my favorite trending topic in a long time.
â€” ðŸ‘¨ðŸ»â€ðŸ³ (@BoostFaction) January 12, 2018
Even J.K. Rowling saw it and loved it.
â€” IceKareemy (@IceKareemy) January 11, 2018
â€” J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 11, 2018
She might have seen it, she might have been loving it, but letâ€™s not forget we cancelled JK Rowling last year already.
I just saw a tweet that said JK was invited to the cookout and…as a Potter head….did y’all learn NOTHING from last year about handing out invites willy nilly? pic.twitter.com/9yQvI18MoU
â€” L.L. McKinney, Former Mercy main. (UGH BLIZZARD!) (@ElleOnWords) January 11, 2018
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