Mr President: “You wanna see a chicken run? Iâ€ll drown you in your firepool!”


How should we respond to the Nkandla security video shown in Parliament? We could get angry; we could laugh (so we donâ€t cry); or, we could listen to Sizwe Mpofu Walshâ€s 2014 track, Mr President. Actually, weâ€ve been doing just that since yesterdayâ€s farce, and we strongly recommend you do too. 

So, President Jacob Zuma is not going to pay back the money, after police minister Nathi Nhleko said he didnâ€t have to. No surprises there.

But never underestimate our governmentâ€s ability to reach new lows. What did come as a surprise yesterday was the demonstration video on Nkandla, firepools, chicken runs and “vital security features” that Nhleko showed in parliament.

Keystone Cops set to O Sole Mio just about sums it up. But we have another, more appropriate soundtrack in mind: Mr President by Sizwe-Mpofu Walsh, aka Vice V.

Sample lyrics:

Mr president, this is for the people who youâ€re tryna fool
This is for the people, so itâ€s time to school
This is for the cronies who admire you: you wanna see a chicken run?
Iâ€ll drown you in your firepool!

Mpofu-Walsh originally released Mr President, a remix of a track by Tunisian rapper El Général, in April last year in the run-up to the general elections.

But thereâ€s a good reason it’s been giving us earworm in the last few days: with the release of the Nkandla report – not to mention the delaying tactics around the release of the Farlam Commission report – itâ€s become, if possible, even more relevant today.

South Africans are waiting with baited breath for Public Protector Thuli Madonselaâ€s response to the police report on Nkandla, which contradicts the findings of her own report, issued in March last year, that stated the president should pay back a “reasonable” portion of the money used to upgrade his private home in Nkandla.

To quote Mpofu-Walshâ€s lyrics again: “Fooled me once, but you canâ€t fool Thuli.”

Heâ€s right there, but unfortunately the public protector lacks the supporting political will for her findings to be enforced.

Which leaves us with a final question posed by Mr President: “Where do you run when the presidentâ€s a thief? Where do you go when the criminalâ€s police?”

Let us know if you have an answer to that one, because weâ€re stumped.

Watch the video:

– Featured image: Screenshot of the video.


  1. What I love about Theresa is the honesty that comes across in her articles and the refusal to sugarcoat things.


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