White man discovers ‘hidden library’ in Turkey

    A British man of Caucasian persuasion says he walked into a bistro in Taksim Square in Istanbul and was surprised to discover four floors of books under the shop.

    Simon Patterson (42) said he had discovered a rusty staircase beside the toilets and felt compelled to explore the hidden chamber.

    It was then that he made the startling discovery.

    “It’s the best leak I never took,” the man said.

    Patterson, a logistics operator at British Rail, said he was impressed by the leather bound beauties stacked neatly on wooden shelves across four floors beneath the bistro.

    He was however taken aback by the contents of his discovery.

    “All four floors of books were in Turkish,” he said with some disbelief.

    Patterson, who has not left the underground library since his discovery some days ago says he was astounded to find even the English classics had been translated.

    The Turkish manager of the bistro said he welcomed Patterson’s “discovery” but pointed out that basement had been operational as a bookstore for the past 40 years. “We’ve always known it was there,” Tayeb Gul said with a shrug.

    Patterson has however remained upbeat, solemnly promising to enlighten the contents of the library with civilisation, Christianity and the English language.


    Abu O’Well is almost an award-winning satirist with the Daily Vox. Read more of his writing here.

    – Featured image via Wikimedia Commons