20+ reasons why men cannot be trusted


Journalist Pontsho Pilane lists the many times she’s been harassed and violated by men, in both public and private spaces, proving why #NotAllMen is not a thing.

#NotAllMen but I can’t jog at night or early in the morning. If I do, and I happen to get mugged, raped or catcalled, I will be told that I should have expected.

#NotAllMen but I cannot wait for my Uber without being hooted at by other men driving past.

#NotAllMen but I have to check the boot of my Uber and screengrab the car registration to a friend.

#NotAllMen but I have to say I am married for men to leave me alone.

#NotAllMen but I can’t go to the bathroom by myself at a party.

#NotAllMen but I used to carry extra cash for in case a date thinks buying me food and drinks means he has access to my body.

#NotAllMen but I cannot dance at groove without having a man invite himself and start grinding on me.

#NotAllMen but Sivu Siwisa organised For Black Girls Only so womxn can dance and have a nice time without being bothered by men.

#NotAllMen but there were men who were so bothered by For Black Girls Only that they thought of coming to the venue and waiting outside to antagonise us.

#NotAllMen but I have to block sources after interviews because they are now WhatsApping me and being inappropriate.

#NotAllMen but I was threatened with being stoned because ngifeba nendoda yomlungu when I was out on my first story with my male boss.

#NotAllMen but I was groped more than once at the beach, inside the water, and resorted to staying out for the rest of the day.

#NotAllMen but when I reported it to the police I was told what do I expect if I wear a swimming costume… at the beach.

#NotAllMen but I send “I arrived safely” texts more than once a day.

#NotAllMen but I had to run from three men trying to abduct me after studying on campus.

#NotAllMen but I had to explain to my (then) boyfriend why he cannot sneak up behind me two days after I was almost abducted.

#NotAllMen but I cringed when I had to stand up on the Wits bus because some guys would purposefully rub their crotches on me as they passed by.

#NotAllMen but from the time I was 12 I had men in their 20s and 30s telling me that I must grow up for them.

#NotAllMen but saying “I have a boyfriend” protects me from insults and possible harm more than “No, I am not interested”.

#NotAllMen but I had to report the AA Roadside Assistance guy because he harassed me on WhatsApp after towing us.

#NotAllMen but a doctor felt me up during a physical exam at the emergency room in Milpark Hospital and later stole my number from my patient file and harassed me with phone calls until I blocked his number.

#NotAllMen but I was told by a man that I was lucky because he wouldn’t rape me because it was National Women’s Day, as I walked through Sandton City to join a friend’s birthday lunch.

#NotAllMen but I lost my temper when a popular “Bikoist” said that he would love to rape me.

#NotAllMen yet every time I have literally feared for my life in one way or the other has been at the hands of men.

#NotAllMen but these incidences are the few I remember from the top of my head. Not the same men. But #NotAllMen, right?

This post originally appeared on Pontsho Pilane’s Facebook page and is republished with permission.

Featured image via Pixabay


  1. This is no way for anyone to live. Thank you for exposing the perpetual ways in which men harass and are dangerous to women. Not All Men, but where are the supposedly nice ones putting an end to what their brothers are doing?

  2. Men are untrustworthy and behave like pigs. They only think about sex and money. They treat women like crap and sex objects! Disgusting perverts! Only God knows how many men are left that are trustworthy.


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