In a six-week series, little comrade TENDAI MARIMA takes a look at what the bigÂ comrades in the Zimbabwean government are getting up to. This week Vice President and Comrade Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwaâ€
On behalf of every card-carrying comrade of the revolutionary republic, sick and tired of living hand to mouth, surviving on the bare minimum in our free and sovereign country, I’d like to propose a toast to Vice President Emmerson Dambudzo Mnangagwa for his sterling effort in chasing mega-deals for Zimbabwe.
Desperately in need of friends with cash, the comrade has hopped on a plane and gone from Beijing to Belarus (yes Belarus!) with one hand on his heart and a begging bowl in the other.
While some people throwÂ bones for luck, we throw baby elephants and young lions. Paving the way for the comradeâ€
Back in Beijing, the comrade followed up on agreements made last year by Supreme Comrade-in-Charge, President Robert Mugabe and Chinaâ€
Crafty or desperate, call it what you will, the comrade had the good courage to go on Chinese national television and admit to 20 years of poor achievement. No doubt, the violent land grabs and 51% black-ownership policies havenâ€
That’s why the Great King of Africa, AU chairman Mugabe, was likely limited to shopping on Fifth Avenue between breaks at aÂ recent UN ebola conference in New York. Under a US travel ban since 2001, the Great Comrade can only move within a 25-mile radius restricting him to a few lonely streets of Manhattan and the Upper Eastside. At least he made sure he was accompanied by a delegation big enough to carry all his shopping bags if he decided to venture out.
Meanwhile his deputy, the comrade in question, is still on the hunt for the loot. And so, last Friday, he flew to Minsk. For his troubles, he received a warm welcome in the Belarusian capital and President Alexander Lukashenko signed several trade agreements to supply $150-million worth of agricultural, mining and road construction equipment. Lukashenko, head of the country sometimes known as Europe’s last dictatorship, has also suggested setting up a vehicle maintenance centre in Zimbabwe that could establish Belarus’s entry into Africa.
Who needs the West when you can look East, eh? The European Union and the USÂ can sanction Belarus for holding too many political prisoners and hate on China for stealing the title of worldâ€
Yours in Arms
The Little Comrade
Ps â€“ FYI, the Comrade will make that trip to Paris soon, like a boss. Show me the money!